60 Funny Squid Puns

Here are 60 funny squid jokes and the best squid puns to crack you up. These jokes about squids are great jokes for kids and adults.

Cartoon graphic of a blue smiling squid on a blue background.

Squid puns

Here is our top list of squid dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about squids, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this squid humor with others.

  1. Where do you keep newborn baby squid? In an inkubator.
  2. What do you get if you cross a duck and a squid? A quacken.
  3. What does a squid like to eat for dinner? Ten-tacos.
  4. Where does a squid keep its moneyIn an octo-purse.
  5. Why can’t a squid commit a crime? They don’t have a bad bone in their body.
  1. Why were the two cephalopods arrested? Squidnapping.
  2. What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
  3. Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of a squid? He got inked up.
  4. Did you know that the octopus is the only sea creature with tentacles? Just squidding.
  5. How does a squid propose to its sweetheart? I would like to ask for your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage.
  1. Why did the squid blush? He saw the bottom of the ocean.
  2. What did the squid say on its birthday? This is going to be inkredible.
  3. What do you call a deal brokered by a cephalopod? Squid-pro-quo.
  4. What the squid say when she heard a funny joke? You’re kraken me up.
  5. How do you know when a cephalopod has been using your toilet? Squid marks.
  1. What do you call twin squids? Itentacle.
  2. How did the squid go into battle? Well armed.
  3. What is a squid’s favorite item of clothing? A sock-topus.
  4. What did the squid say when it was asked out on a date? I’ll ink about it.
  5. Why should you always hang out with squid? Because you’ll be in for a kraken good time.
Cartoon graphic of pink smiling squid with its eyes closed on a blue background.
  1. Where does a squid go to sing? The “choral” reef.
  2. Why was the squid sad? He just had an inking feeling.
  3. What do you call a squid moving forward? Squidward.
  4. Did you know that squirrels can also squirt ink? Just squidding.
  5. What do you call a group of cephalopods trying to kill themselves? Suicide Squid.
  1. What’s got eight arms and robs banks? A safe kraken.
  2. Why did the squid get expelled from school? For kraken jokes.
  3. What did the squid say when it saw a shark? Oh, crab.
  4. What do you call a squid that plays guitar? A rock-topus.
  5. Why did the squid beat the shark in a fight?  Because it was well armed.
  1. What do you call a stupid squid? Inkcompetant.
  2. How do you make a squid laugh? Give it ten tickles.
  3. Who lives in the Wild West and shoots ink? Billy the Squid.
  4. Why did the squid cross the reef? To get to the other tide.
  5. Did you hear about the cephalopod who tried wearing pants? He got squid marks.
  1. What do you call a group of squid? A squad.
  2. Who robs banks and squirts ink? Billy the Squid.
  3. What do octopuses play at Hogwarts? Squidditch.
  4. Why do people hate camping with squids? Tent-tickles.
  5. What do you call a squid that’s missing one tentacle? Octopus Prime.
Cartoon graphic of a red smiling squid on a blue background.

Squid one liners

Here are some great squid joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about squids.

  1. The squid blushed after seeing the ocean’s bottom.
  2. A squid’s favorite singer is Squid Rock.
  3. You’d think squid would be good at writing. But you’d be inkcorrect.
  4. I just learned that an octopus’s brain is wrapped around it’s oesophagus. That is food for thought.
  5. A restaurant owner offered me a free calamari appetizer if I gave him a good review on Yelp. It was squid pro quo.
  1. The squid company was ink-orporated.
  2. Squids wake up at the kraken of dawn.
  3. I just heard a really good joke about a giant squid. It’s Kraken me up.
  4. I’d brag about how many types of squid I know if I weren’t such a Humboldt man.
  5. A squid was filming a TV show, but they had to temporarily stop filming. They were experiencing tentacle difficulties.
Cartoon graphic of a pink smiling squid on a blue background.

Best squid jokes

These next funny squid puns are some of our best jokes and puns about squids!

  1. What’s a squid’s favorite pudding? Octo-pie.
  2. What do you call a cool squid? Tenta-cool.
  3. Why are squids the funniest animals? Because of their ten-tickles.
  4. What happens if you throw a squid at a car? The windshield krakens.
  5. Scientists have discovered that, on occasion, a squid will “punch” a fish for no reason other than spite. That’s called Toxic Molluskulinity.
  1. What do you call a group of squid? A squad.
  2. What do you get if you cross a cat and a squid? An octopuss.
  3. What type of squid can add up numbers? An octo-plus.
  4. What happens when two squid love each other? They get calimarried.
  5. How did the squid manage to join a football team? It has got a track record for pulling off some of the top ten tackles.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about squids, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny animal jokes, then check out these other great lists of funny puns:

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