60 Funny Squirrel Jokes

Here are 60 funny squirrel jokes and the best squirrel puns to crack you up. These jokes about squirrels are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of squirrel dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about squirrels, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this squirrel humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of a squirrel on a tree stump filled with nuts on a blue background.

Squirrel puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about squirrels that are also awesome squirrel jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. Where do squirrels go to learn? Elemen-tree school.
  2. Why don’t squirrels like rabbits? They’re always rabbiting on.
  3. Why are squirrels’ good scientists? They live and work in the field.
  4. What does a dog say after chasing a squirrel up a tree? Bark.
  5. What did the squirrel say to the police dog? “top barking up the wrong tree and acting like a nut.
  1. Where do squirrels go on holiday? Beech trees.
  2. What do squirrels watch TV? Nut-flix.
  3. What do you call a lazy squirrel? A ro-don’t.
  4. Why was the man measuring squirrels? He was critter-sizing.
  5. Why did the squirrel take her car apart? She wanted to see the nuts and bolts of it.
  1. What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kite? A flying squirrel.
  2. What was the squirrel’s favorite seasoning? Nut-meg.
  3. How are squirrels so good at saving money? They squirrel it away.
  4. What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door? It won’t be long now.
  5. Why did the squirrel bury his lottery tickets under a bush? He was hedging his bets.
  1. What is the squirrel internet called? The nutwork.
  2. What famous squirrel tells the future? Nutradamus.
  3. How does a squirrel comb its fur? It runs through the under-brush.
  4. Why did the bank have the squirrel arrested? Because he was foraging checks.
  5. What’s a squirrel’s favorite movie? The Social Nutwork.
Cartoon graphic of a squirrel with a bonnet standing on a tree trunk on a blue background.
  1. What do you call a fight between squirrels? A squarrel.
  2. What did the squirrel say when it lost its food? Aw, nuts.
  3. Why did the squirrel avoid flowers? It found them seedy.
  4. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut.
  5. Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles? To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
  1. Why is it a bad idea to work for squirrels? They pay peanuts.
  2. Have you heard about the new squirrel diet? It’s just nuts.
  3. How did the squirrel get lost in the forest? It followed the wrong root.
  4. What’s a squirrel’s favorite ballet? The Nutcracker.
  5. Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown? To the nut-house.
  1. What do rich squirrels eat? Cash-ews.
  2. Which squirrels are the best heroes? Flying squirrels.
  3. What do you get when you mix a rat with a sea snake? A squirr-eel.
  4. Where do squirrels go in a hurricane? All over the place.
  5. Why did the squirrel walk backwards while eating a tuna? Because tuna backwards is “a nut”.
  1. What did the tree say to the squirrel? Leaf me alone.
  2. What do you call a squirrel that goes to space? An astro-nut.
  3. What did the squirrel say to the psychologist? I think I’m nuts.
  4. What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant? An animal that never forgets where it’s hidden its nuts.
  5. Did you know that squirrels can also squirt ink? Just squidding.
Cartoon graphic of two squirrels on a tree branch on a blue background.

Squirrel one liners

Here are some great squirrel joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about squirrels.

  1. A wise squirrel once said “you are what you eat”. He was nuts.
  2. It’s nuts that squirrels store food for winter.
  3. I’d make fun of what squirrels eat. But it’d be acorn-y joke.
  4. I saw a squirrel this morning cycling through the park. I didn’t know they can ride bikes.
  5. I was trying to come up with a few squirrel puns to make you laugh, but they were all too nutty.
  1. A doctor for overweight squirrels is called a nut-ritionist.
  2. I got thrown out of my local park after arranging the squirrels by height. They didn’t like me critter sizing.
  3. Squirrels are very good at explaining things, because they give it to you in a nutshell.
  4. I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn’t know how. So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
  5. I saw a squirrel bury a nut in my backyard today. I’m going to swap it for a grilled cheese sandwich and blow his mind.
Cartoon graphic of 3 squirrels climbing on a tree on a blue background.

Best squirrel jokes

These next funny squirrel puns are some of our best jokes and puns about squirrels!

  1. What is a squirrel’s favorite number? Tree.
  2. What did the father squirrel tell his family? Acorn-y joke.
  3. Why are squirrels such good sailors? Because, they are row-dents.
  4. Why did the squirrel pay a dentist one dollar? To get buck teeth.
  5. What’s a squirrel’s least favorite kind of flower? Forget-me-nuts.
  1. What kind of stories do squirrels like? Long tails.
  2. Why didn’t the squirrel hibernate? It was too hiber-late.
  3. What’s invisible and smells like nuts? Squirrel farts.
  4. Why do squirrels collect acorns? They’re completely nuts.
  5. Which shoes do squirrels use for walking? Cashews.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about squirrels, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny animal puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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