15 Funny Straw Puns

Here are 15 funny straw jokes and the best straw puns to crack you up. These jokes about straws are great jokes for kids and adults.

Cartoon graphic of a young girl sipping her drink through a straw and the word slurp written next to her on a blue background.

Straw puns

Here is our top list of straw dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about straws, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this straw humor with others.

  1. Why did the straw get a promotion? It sucked up to the boss.
  2. What do you call a straw superhero? Sip-erman.
  3. How does a scarecrow drink her juice? With a straw.
  4. Why did the broken straw go to rehab? It had a serious drinking problem.
  5. What’s the difference between a straw and a Dutch comedian? One is a hollow cylinder, the other is a silly Hollander.
Cartoon graphic of a man with a beard sipping a drink through a long white straw on a blue background.

Straw one liners

Here are some great straw joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about straws.

  1. My doctor told me to distance myself from drugs so I bought a six foot straw.
  2. California is looking to eradicate a once popular item. Apparently it was the last straw.
  3. A horse walks into a bar and orders a glass of coke. The bartender asks: “Would you like a straw?” “Yeah, straw, lots of straw”.
  4. The plastic straw bans now happening in many cities were predicted by a 16th Century prophet. His name was No-straw-damus.
  5. My roommate has been stealing my stuff recently. I did a good job at ignoring it, until he stole the only drinking utensil I had left. I finally snapped and yelled “That’s the last straw”.
Cartoon graphic of four different colored bendy straws on a blue background.

Best straw jokes

These next funny straw puns are some of our best jokes and puns about straws!

  1. What do you call a surplus of straws? Ex-straw.
  2. Why was the hay upset? Because the straw was about to bale.
  3. Why is it hard to hug a scarecrow? Because you’re clutching at straws.
  4. Why do you never hear jokes about drinking straws? Because they all suck.
  5. Why is it impossible to fight a scarecrow? By the time it reaches its last straw, there’s nothing left.
Cartoon graphic of a glass with a red and white straw in it on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about straws, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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