60 Funny Crab Puns

Here are 60 funny crab jokes and the best crab puns to crack you up. These jokes about crabs are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of crab dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about crabs, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this crab humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of happy crab on blue background.

Crab puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about crabs that are also awesome crab jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What do crabs order when they go to a coffee shop? Crab-uccino.
  2. What did the crab police officer say when it pulled over a speeding shrimp? You have to abide by the claw.
  3. What would a crab do with a smartphone? Take lots of shellfies.
  4. What do you call a frugal crab? A penny pincher.
  5. Where do shellfish go to borrow money? To a prawn broker.
  1. Did you hear the crab president’s speech? It was really crabtivating.
  2. Where do crabs go when they need to catch public transport? The Bus-tacean.
  3. Why did the crab decide to follow the Keto diet? Crabohydrates made it bloat.
  4. What do crabs do on their birthday? They shellabrate.
  5. How did the limpet cross the river? She took a taxi crab.
Cartoon graphic of smiling red crab with blue background.
  1. What’s a crab’s favorite part about pizza? That crust taste, son.
  2. What is the best job for a crab? A crab driver.
  3. Why was the hermit crab embarrassed? Because the sea weed.
  4. What do you call a crab who is afraid of small spaces? Claw-strophobic.
  5. Why did the crab cross the road? To get to the other tide.
  1. Why did the crab get fired? Because he was not moving the company forward.
  2. Which chemical element accounts for the largest part in the body of crabs? Crabon.
  3. What do crabs need to stay healthy? Vitamin Sea.
  4. Why don’t crabs like basketball? Because they are afraid of the net.
  5. What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear? A shell-met.
  1. What did the cannibal crab have for its birthday? Crab cake.
  2. What did one fish say to the other when they saw the chef grab a crab? He is in hot water now.
  3. How to crabs call their friends? On a shell phone.
  4. What party game do crabs like to play? Salmon says.
  5. What does a lobster say when he’s confused? Can you please be more pacific?
  1. Why did the crab get bad grades? Because it was below C level.
  2. How much salt do hermit crabs like on their food? Just a pinch.
  3. What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty? It-piers we have a problem.
  4. How could the crab afford to buy a new house? He prawned everything.
  5. Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains? King’s Crustacean.
Cartoon graphic of crab wearing chefs hat with blue background.
  1. What is a crabs favorite fruit? Crab apples.
  2. How does the crab answer the phone? Shello.
  3. Who brings Christmas presents to young crabs? Santa Claws.
  4. hat does a hermit crab call its home? Michelle.
  5. Why did the crab keep all of the seaweed to itself? Because it was shellfish.
  1. How do crustaceans bulk up? They crab load.
  2. How does a crab feel when it eats too much? Clawful.
  3. What does a crab say when he goes to the rodeo? Yee-Claw.
  4. Why are the Jedi against dissolving crustaceans in acid? Only a Sith deals in crab solutes.
  5. What do you call a crab who will do anything to survive in the ocean? a shell out.
  1. What do you call a crab that’s green and sings but likes to stay home? A Kermit crab.
  2. What does the crab president call his trusted advisors? His crabinet.
  3. What do you call a crab in self-isolation? A hermit crab.
  4. Where do crabs and lobsters save all of their money? In a sea bank.
  5. Why was the crustacean unhappy? Because his mum was being really crabby!
  1. What do you call the greatest crab artist that ever lived? Leonardo da Pinci.
  2. What did the prawn say to the crab steering the ship? Aye aye Crabtain.
  3. Why did the musical crab move to New York City? It wanted to star in the crabaret.
  4. How do crabs evade taxes? They set up shell corporations.
  5. Why did the crab blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
Cartoon graphic of red crab with claw in air on blue background.

Best crab jokes

These next funny crab puns are some of our best jokes and puns about crabs!

  1. How do you know when a crab has had too much fizzy drink? It starts to walk in a straight line.
  2. Why do crabs do poorly in school? They have a limited vocrabulary.
  3. Did you hear about the crab that went to the gym? He pulled a mussel.
  4. How do crabs get around on land? They use the sidewalk.
  5. How do you know if a crab is pregnant? Ask a lobstetrician.
  1. What’s it called when a crab walks to its part-time job? A side hustle.
  2. Why don’t healthy dyslexic people eat bread? Too many crabs.
  3. What do you call a crab that throws things? A lobster.
  4. How did the crabs respond when the chef told them they were being served for dinner? They were really steamed.
  5. What do you call a crab that got sat on? Crushedacean.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about crabs, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny animal jokes, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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