60 Funny Santa Jokes

Here are 60 funny Santa jokes and the best Santa puns to crack you up. These jokes about Santa are great jokes for kids and adults.

Cartoon graphic of Santa's head winking on a blue background.

Santa puns

Here is our top list of Santa dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about Santa, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this Santa humor with others.

  1. What do Santa’s elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
  2. Why is Santa so good at karate? He has a black belt.
  3. Why did Santa go to the liquor store? He was looking for holiday spirits.
  4. What has big ears and makes toys for Santa? Elfants.
  5. Why does Santa have trouble spelling? He thinks the alphabet has Noel.
  1. What are Santa’s favorite crisps? Kringles.
  2. What does Santa spend his wages on? Jingle Bills.
  3. Which of Santa’s friends is the most chill? Jack Frost.
  4. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck? A Christmas quacker.
  5. How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh and reindeer? Nothing, it’s on the house.
  1. Why is Santa so busy? He’s wrapped up in a lot of things.
  2. Why is Santa scared of chimneys? Because he’s claus-trophobic.
  3. How did Santa’s little helper stop eating cookies? He used elf control.
  4. What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat? Santa Claws.
  5. What is Santa’s favorite element in the periodic table? Ho Ho Ho.
  1. What did Santa name his pet frog? Mistletoad.
  2. Where does Santa cash his checks? At the snow bank.
  3. Where does Santa stay when he’s on holiday? In a ho-ho-hotel.
  4. How much did Santa’s sleigh cost? It was on the house.
  5. How does Santa take pictures? With his Pole-aroid camera.
Cartoon graphic of Santa waving with green gloves on a blue background.
  1. What do you call a cat who works for Santa? Santa Claws.
  2. What is the name of Santa’s naughtiest deer? Rude-olph.
  3. What does pirate Santa say? Row row row.
  4. Why was Santa’s little helper so sad? He had low elf-esteem.
  5. Why doesn’t Santa eat junk food? Because it’s bad for your elf.
  1. Who brings teeth gifts for Christmas? Santa Floss.
  2. What does Santa eat for breakfast? Mistle toast.
  3. Which of Santa’s reindeer are dinosaurs afraid of? Comet.
  4. Where do Santa’s elves make the just acceptable toys? In the satisfactory.
  5.  What kind of drink does Santa give to naughty girls and boys? Coal-a.
  1. What was Santa’s favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree.
  2. What’s red, white and green? Santa Claus when he’s travel sick.
  3. How do you wash your hands at Christmas? With hand Santa-tizer.
  4. What do you sing at Santa’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow.
  5. What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson.
  1. Who’s Santa’s favorite singer? Elfish Presley.
  2. What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less.
  3. How do Santa’s elves eat pancakes? In short stacks.
  4. How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
  5. How is a flag like Santa Claus? They both hang out at the pole.
Cartoon graphic of a Santa swinging on Christmas lights on a blue background.

Santa one liners

Here are some great Santa joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about Santa.

  1. Amazon is a lot like Santa Clause. It brings gifts to our homes, gets busy around Christmas and is very eager for our cookies.
  2. You know, I’ve never seen my Dad and Santa Claus in the same room. Come to think of it, actually, I’ve never seen my Dad.
  3. Ladies. Please stop asking Santa Claus for the perfect man. I almost got kidnapped 3 times today.
  4. Santa Claus announced that he’s giving everyone the same gardening tool for Christmas. Hoe! Hoe! Hoe.
  5. Last Christmas Santa Claus got stuck in a particularly narrow chimney. He suffered from Claus Trophobia.
  1. Santa Claus will be allowed to go out and deliver presents without spreading Covid-19. He has spent the last year in the North Pole in Ice-olation.
  2. I took my son to see Santa Claus yesterday and he stank of booze and cigarettes. God knows what Santa Claus thought of him.
  3. Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Claus and unfortunately, so did my parents.
  4. Santa hit a dragon whilst flying over medieval England. I guess you could say he sleighed it.
  5. When my parents told me there was no Santa Claus I was so mad at them. I stomped out the door, got in my car and drove away.
Cartoon graphic of Santa waving with a sack of toys on a blue background.

Best Santa jokes

These next funny Santa puns are some of our best jokes and puns about Santa!

  1. What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap.
  2. What does Santa use to bake a cake? Elf-raising flour.
  3. What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause.
  4. What does Santa cook with in the kitchen? A u-tinsel.
  5. What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas.
  1. What happens after December 25? Santa Close.
  2. Who delivers Christmas presents to baby sharks? Santa Jaws.
  3. What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.
  4. How you can tell that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents.
  5. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus as he left on Christmas Eve? I think it’s going to rain, dear.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about Santa, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny seasonal puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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