28 Funny Uncle Jokes

Here are 28 funny uncle jokes and uncle puns to crack you up. If you’ve got a joke to share, comment it below!

Cartoon graphic of an uncle and his niece smiling with their eyes closed on a blue background.

Uncle puns

Here is our top list of Uncle jokes.

  1. Who is married to my mean uncle? My croissant.
  2. If ant poison gets rid of your aunts, what gets rid of your uncles? Anti-funcle cream.
  3. What’s red, white, blue and green? A seasick Uncle Sam.
  4. Why was the baby ant confused? Because all his uncles were ants.
  5. Did you hear about what happened with your sweaty uncle? He has a wife now, and her name is Aunty Perspirant
  1. Why does your uncle drive around in a frozen car? Because you lost your aunty freeze.
  2. Which of Peter Parker’s guardians would keep his secret? His uncle wouldn’t, but his aunt may.
Cartoon graphic of an uncle holding his nephew on a blue background.

Uncle one liners

Here are some great uncle joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about uncles.

  1. My uncle was crushed by a piano. His funeral was very low key.
  2. It’s so typical of my late uncle not to come to my funeral. I went to his.
  3. My uncle was injured in an explosion at the cheese factory today. He was hit by a chunk of da Brie.
  4. My uncle with a stutter was recently sent to prison. He’s never going to finish his sentence.
  5. One time my uncle challenged me that I cant do a simple electrical wiring. He got shocked after I completed the work.
  1. My transgender uncle is a superhero. We call him Aunt-Man.
  2. My uncle got lost on his bird hunting expedition. He took a wrong tern.
  3. I’m sorry to hear that your uncle was killed by a boat in Venice. My gondolences.
  4. My uncle once had a 24-hour epileptic episode. Now that’s what I call seizing the day.
  5. My Uncle used to say: “when one door closes, another opens. He was a decent philosopher, but a lousy cabinet maker.
Cartoon graphic of an uncle giving his niece a horsey ride on a blue background.

Best uncle jokes

These next funny uncle puns are some of our best jokes and puns about uncles!

  1. My uncle got addicted to deli meat. But I heard he quit cold turkey.
  2. My uncle named his dogs Rolex and Timex. They are his watch dogs.
  3. My uncle swears his sneakers are sandals. We all try to tell him they knot.
  4. I gave my late uncle’s widow a watch for her birthday. Now she’s just my uncle’s widow.
  5. My aunt was dancing when she heard a crunch in her knee, causing her to fall over. Then she got mad when my uncle told her not to be so broken up over it.
  1. My uncle always refused to obey his controlling wife. He was defy-aunt.
  2. My uncle drank a whole bottle of wood varnish. He had a horrible death but a lovely finish.
  3. My great uncle died making butter on his farm last week. It was a really unfortunate churn of events.
  4. I inherited my uncle’s deer breeding business worth 10 million bucks. That’s a lot of doe.
  5. My uncle cut off his finger while trimming his trees, but can’t remember how it happened. He tried his best to remember, but ended up stumped.
Cartoon graphic of an uncle stacking blocks with his niece on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about uncles, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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