35 Funny Hammer Puns

Here are 35 funny hammer jokes and the best hammer puns to crack you up. These jokes about hammers are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of hammer dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about hammers, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this hammer humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of a girl with hard hat and holding hammer and doing thumbs up sign on a blue background.

Hammer puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about hammers that are also awesome hammer jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What nails do carpenters hate hammering? Fingernails.
  2. Why did the hammer constantly go to the hospital? He kept hitting his head.
  3. Why do frogs dislike hammers so much? Because they are a toad’s tool.
  4. What is the best tool in the ocean? A hammerhead shark.
  5. Why did people laugh at the doctor who lost her reflex hammer? Because they thought she was a real knee-slapper.
  1. What do you call a song about hammers? An absolute banger.
  2. What is one of the most groundbreaking inventions of all time? The jackhammer.
  3. What type of sharks do carpenters like? The hammerhead and saw shark.
  4. Why didn’t Captain America pick up Mjolnir sooner? He really didn’t want to steal Thor’s thunder.
  5. Why was the hammer shunned by the other tools in the shed? Because he was very blunt.
  1. What would a hammer be called in Minecraft? MC Hammer.
  2. What do construction workers and volleyball players have in common? They really like to hammer the spikes.
  3. What do you get when you hit an avocado with a hammer? A whack-a-moley.
  4. What did one hammer say to the other hammer at the end of a long day of work? Let’s nail it tomorrow.
  5. What did the farmer say when he saw a sleepy cow swinging a hammer around? I guess that cow really wants to hit the hay.
Cartoon graphic of a colorful gavel on a blue background.

Hammer one liners

Here are some great hammer joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about hammers.

  1. I never understood how a hammer could be so susceptible to the effects of gravity, and then it hit me.
  2. I was working on an investigative report regarding hammers for work this month. Talk about a hard-hitting topic.
  3. I don’t like watching hammer throw. It’s just a few people who just throw their weight around.
  4. The other day the teacher asked one student if anyone knew who invented the door hammer. The student said, “No, it doesn’t ring a bell.
  5. My friend had yet to meet a few of my favorite tools, so I introduced him to the chisel, the hammer, and the saw. He already knew the drill though.
  1. The other day, I heard about a guy who vandalized some park benches using a hammer. The police said that was an act of mallets.
  2. I was bored and hit my iPhone with a hammer, it broke, obviously. So, I took it to the shop to get it fixed, and the man at the counter said they can’t fix hammers.
  3. As a doctor I often get asked why I use that rubber hammer to tap patient’s knees. I just get a little kick out of it.
  4. I saw a dog do the impossible today. It found Thor’s hammer in a field and, to my surprise, grabbed the hammer in its mouth and lifted it with ease. That dog must be a Labrathor.
  5. Best part of hammering out construction puns, even when the punchline is screwy, you can still nail it.
Cartoon graphic of a hand holding a hammer on a blue background.

Best hammer jokes

These next funny hammer puns are some of our best jokes and puns about hammers!

  1. Once I was asked to tell some hammer jokes at the local stand up comedy show. I nailed it.
  2. I named my hammer Thor. Because after swinging it all day my arm is thor.
  3. A construction worker decided to go to a bar for a few drinks. He got hammered.
  4. I told my dad that I was hungry. He just handed me a quarter and a mallet and said here’s a quarter pounder.
  5. How can you avoid hitting your fingers when you drive in a nail with a hammer? Hold the hammer with both hands.
  1. How fast was Thor’s hammer destroyed? Hela Fast.
  2. What do you call a shy person with a hammer? Bashful.
  3. What do antimatter and MC Hammer have in common? Can’t touch this.
  4. What happens when the god of thunder drops his hammer? He gets a Thor foot.
  5. Why is the hammer the dumbest of all the tools? It’s just not the sharpest tool in the box.
Cartoon graphic of a boy hitting a very large pin into the earth with a very large hammer on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about hammers, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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