45 Funny Ninja Jokes

Here are 45 funny ninja jokes and the best ninja puns to crack you up. These jokes about ninjas are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of ninja dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about ninjas, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this ninja humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of a ninja doing a flying punch on a blue background.

Ninja puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about ninjas that are also awesome ninja jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. How does a ninja fart? Silent and deadly.
  2. Can a ninja throw a throwing star? Sure-he-can.
  3. What do you call a ninja with 8 older brothers? A Nine-ja.
  4. Where can you find ninja muesli? In the stealthfood aisle.
  5. Why don’t ninjas watch sad movies? They’re too sensei-tive.
  1. What football position do ninjas like most? Kicker.
  2. What is a ninja’s preferred airline? Sliced Airways.
  3. How do you ask a ninja to leave? Say Ninjago.
  4. How do you give a ninja direction? Don’t worry, he’ll find you.
  5. What do ninjas like to play during recess? Ninjump-rope.
Cartoon graphic of a ninja with the sun behind him on a blue background.
  1. What do doctors call a wound caused by a throwing star? An ninjury.
  2. Why aren’t there any ninjas on the film set? There was but he kept throwing stars.
  3. How many throwing stars does a ninja have on him? None, they’re all on you.
  4. How does a ninja change a tire? He waits for you to change yours, then your life and your car are his.
  5. Did you hear about the doctor who became a ninja? He worked for the National Stealth Service.
  1. How does a ninja deal with fear? He passes it on to his victims.
  2. How do ninjas get across the ocean? Flying Side Kick.
  3. What’s a ninja’s favorite sport? You and everyone you care about.
  4. How does a ninja celebrate your birthday? Atop your grave.
  5. How will you know when you’ve met a ninja? The grim reaper will tell you.
Cartoon graphic of a ninja doing a kick while holding a weapon on a blue background.

Ninja one liners

Here are some great ninja joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about ninja.

  1. When ninjas stub their toes, coffee tables jump around crying.
  2. Ninjas don’t do push-ups, they move the earth up and down.
  3. Ninjas are so famous, Spiderman has a ninja poster on his wall.
  4. Ninjas can’t have heart attacks. Hearts aren’t silly enough to attack a ninja.
  5. Ninjas are so accurate they can kick a cyclops between the eye.
  1. A ninja went to the vets with his cat, Anna.
  2. Ninjas are so scary, they make onions cry.
  3. Ninjas run so fast they get there yesterday.
  4. Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, But Jack can’t jump a ninja kick.
  5. When a ninja couldn’t learn anything from a library…she side kicked it so hard it became a school.
  1. Ninjas hear so well they can hear sign language.
  2. Ninjas are so nimble they can climb a rope, without a rope.
  3. I’m like a ninja at the gym. Cause you’ll never see me there.
  4. Ninjas can win a game of connect four in three moves.
  5. I spent the whole day trying to carve the Ninja Turtles out of wood. But just ended up with a load of Splinters.
Cartoon graphic of a ninja doing the thumbs-up sign on a blue background.

Best ninja jokes

These next funny ninja puns are some of our best jokes and puns about ninjas!

  1. What shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers.
  2. How does a ninja say hello? Hi-yaaaaaaaaa.
  3. Who built that massive bridge secretly in the night? An ninjaneer.
  4. Why can’t ninjas trace? Because it’s impossible for them to leave one.
  5. What is a ninja’s favorite book? The one you’re currently distracted by.
  1. What’s a ninja’s favorite drink? Kara-tea.
  2. What’s an assassins favorite drink? Ninja beer.
  3. What is a ninja’s second favorite fish? Starfish.
  4. How do you ask a Lego ninja to leave? Ninjago.
  5. Where do ninja zombies train? On a ninja training corpse.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about ninjas, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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