Here are 55 funny baseball jokes and the best baseball puns to crack you up. These jokes about baseball are great jokes for kids and adults.
Here is our top list of baseball dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about baseball, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this baseball humor with others.
Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about baseball that are also awesome baseball jokes for adults and kids to be told!
- Why do criminals play baseball? They can hit, run and steal.
- What are the rules for zebra baseball? Three stripes and you’re out.
- Did you hear the joke about the baseball? It will leave you in stitches.
- Why are vampires lousy at baseball? Because their bats always fly away.
- When should baseball players wear armor? When they’re playing knight games.
- What did the baseball glove say to the ball? Catch ya later.
- Where do baseball players go for a new uniform? New Jersey.
- Why do baseball players shout? Because they are all in caps.
- Why are frogs good baseball players? Because they’re great at catching flies.
- What do you get when you cross a tree with a baseball player? Babe Root.
- Which baseball player loved ﬁreplaces? Mickey Mantle.
- What did the maggot do at the baseball game? Wormed the bench.
- What do baseball players do during the coronavirus pandemic? Stay home.
- What’s a baseball player do when his eyesight starts to fail him? He takes a job as an umpire.
- Why can’t tigers play baseball? Because if you have three stripes, you’re out.
- What has 18 legs and catches flies? A baseball team.
- Why are baseball games at night? Because bats are nocturnal.
- Why did the baseball player shut down his website? Because he wasn’t getting any hits.
- How long did the baseball player spend in the library? Five minutes. It was a short stop.
- Why did the police officer go to the baseball game? Someone stole second base.
- How do baseball players keep in contact? They touch base every once in a while.
- Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team? She ran away from the ball.
- What’s a sweet potatoes favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees.
- Why are centipedes not allowed to play on bug baseball teams? Because it takes too long to put their cleats on.
- Did you know that spiders are good baseball players? That’s because they are good fly catchers.
- Which baseball player makes pancakes? The batter.
- What’s a sheep’s favorite baseball team? The Seattle Merinos.
- Why are whales great at playing baseball? They know how to dive for the ball.
- Why don’t baseball players join unions? Because they don’t like to be called out on strikes.
- What is the best advice to give a young baseball player? If you don’t succeed at first, try second base.
- Why did the sausage quit playing baseball? Because he was the wurst on his team.
- What’s a baseball player’s least favorite Star Wars movie? The Umpire Strikes Back.
- Why is a baseball umpire like an angry chicken? Because they both have fowl mouths.
- What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games? The wave.
- Why do RV mechanics make good baseball players? Because they know how to make a home run.
Baseball one liners
Here are some great baseball joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about baseball.
- I heard the Kool Aid man is starting a baseball team. He’s the pitcher.
- My baseball team doesn’t allow anyone to wear Adidas. Three stripes and you’re out.
- A man at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit him.
- I saw a giant mouse so I tried killing it with a baseball bat. So now I have a lifetime ban from Disneyland.
- The ten largest baseball stadiums hold between 46,000 – 56,000 people. Just some ballpark figures for you.
- A baseball came through my window today. It really hit home.
- Chewbacca just started playing baseball. He won Wookie of the Year.
- People say I’m too aggressive when I’m trading baseball cards. It’s because I’m Ruthless.
- My son lost a youth baseball game because of heavy rain. He received a precipitation trophy.
- I recently heard that Turkeys aren’t allowed to play baseball. No matter how many times they hit, they’ll always hit Fowl balls.
Best baseball jokes
These next funny baseball puns are some of our best jokes and puns about baseball!
- Which baseball player holds water? The pitcher.
- What is a baseball player’s favorite kind of music? Swing.
- Why is a baseball stadium always cold? Because it’s full of fans.
- Why are baseball players rich? Because they play on diamonds.
- Why was the artist such a big fan of baseball? She loved to paint a pitcher.
- What keeps the beat in a baseball song? The base line.
- What do baseball players eat on? Home plates.
- What are lumberjack baseball players really good at? Being the cut-off man.
- Did you know that baseballs cost less than volleyballs? Inflation.
- Why are dwarves such good baseball players? Because they hit a lot of gnome runs.
After reading through all these hilarious jokes about baseball, we hope you had a good laugh.
If you want to hear more funny sports puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: