45 Funny Furniture Puns

Here are 45 funny furniture jokes and the best furniture puns to crack you up. These jokes about furniture are great jokes for kids and adults.

Furniture puns

Here is our top list of furniture dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about furniture, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this furniture humor with others.

1. What’s a farmer’s favorite piece of furniture? A cow-ch.
2. How do you know you really love your furniture? You and your recliner go way back.
3. How do you move a piece of furniture at the weather station? With four casters.
4. What type of furniture is the worst poker player? Lawn chairs, because they always fold.
5. What happens if you argue with the salesman at the kitchen furniture store? He offers a lot of counter arguments.

6. What is the biggest type of bed? The sea bed.
7. Why was the couch afraid of the chair? Because the chair was armed.
8. Did you hear about the shag carpet? He was known for his rugged good looks.
9. What is the best tool for locating furniture in the dark? Your pinkie toe.
10. What happened to the furniture robber when he was caught? He got the chair.

11. What has four legs but can’t walk? A table.
12. What do you call an extremely soothing table? A console.
13. What did the fox use to decorate his house? Fur-niture.
14. Why is IKEA the cheapest place to get furniture? Because they have some Swede deals.
15. What happened to the guy who was fired from his job as a furniture upholsterer? He never fully recovered.

16. Why did God add the little toe onto our feet? For the furniture.
17. How do you get more bounce in a water bed? Put some spring water in it.
18. What do you call IKEA furniture you put in coffee? Artificial swedener.
19. Why isn’t your IKEA furniture holding up? You only have your shelf to blame.
20. Why did the furniture store donate so much to good causes? The owners are really into chair-ity.

Furniture one liners

Here are some great furniture joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about furniture.

21. I quit my job at the furniture shop. It didn’t sit right with me.
22. This furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one nightstand.
23. It was my first attempt at repairing my wobbly picnic table. I totally nailed it.
24. My uncle died drinking furniture polish. It was a slow death but a beautiful finish.
25. I went to a job center and asked them if they had any furniture removal jobs open. The man smiled at me and said “take a seat”.

26. I watch a lot of videos about portable furniture. I like seeing how they unfold.
27. I’m skeptical about hiring a carpenter to make my furniture. But I’m sure it woodwork.
28. When I heard my sofa had been stolen, I thought “I’m not going to take this sitting down”.
29. A student made our teacher so angry, they flipped their desk Oh, the tables have turned.
30. Shopping for bedroom furniture while drunk can leave you waking up just having one nightstand.

31. I stubbed my toe onto a piece of furniture. C-ouch.
32. My chair is missing an arm and a leg. That doesn’t sit well with me.
33. I would tell you a joke about IKEA furniture. But the setup takes too long and the final product is mediocre.
34. My dad was working on some furniture and fell into the upholstery machine. But don’t worry, he’s fully recovered.
35. Michael Jordan announced that he was going to create a new furniture line. It’s called the Chair Jordan.

Best furniture jokes

These next funny furniture puns are some of our best jokes and puns about furniture!

36. Who won the furniture competition? It was a drawer.
37. Do you think anyone will buy the new furniture made by Apple? iWood.
38. What does furniture do if it’s stolen? It activates a shelf destruct sequence.
39. Have you ever bought a piece of furniture to rest your feet on? Well, you oughta, man.
40. Why did the homeless pilot land in a furniture store? He wanted to crash on their couch.

41. What do you call an artistic piece of furniture? A drawer.
42. What is the chair’s favorite kind of TV show? Sit-coms.
43. I just don’t understand puns about furniture. I haven’t​ done it sofa.
44. What is it call when Dracula rearranges the furniture in his castle? Fang Shui.
45. One day I’m going to open a furniture store named Sofa King. That way I can make late night TV commercials and shout “our prices are Sofa King low.”

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about furniture, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

• Friend jokes
• Colonoscopy puns
• Jokes about farts
• Poop jokes for kids