25 Funny Umbrella Puns

Here are 25 funny umbrella jokes and the best umbrella puns to crack you up. These jokes about umbrellas are great jokes for kids and adults.

Cartoon graphic of a young boy smiling and holding a yellow umbrella over his head on a blue background.

Umbrella puns

Here is our top list of umbrella dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about umbrellas, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this umbrella humor with others.

Why don’t Angels use umbrellas? Because they’re too holy.
Why did Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.
What goes up when March rain comes down? An umbrella.
What happens if a croissant forgets its umbrella? It’ll get soaking wheat all over.
Why did the detective carry an umbrella? Because he was undercover.

In which jungle should you always have an umbrella? The rainforest.
Why do you put a little umbrella in a dry martini? To keep it from getting wet.
Where do mushrooms keep their umbrellas and shoes? On their porch-ini.
Why was there an umbrella on the ice cream? Because there were too many sprinkles.
How did the three elephants standing under an umbrella not get wet? It was not raining.

Cartoon graphic of a girl waving and holding an umbrella while raining on a blue background.

Umbrella one liners

Here are some great umbrella joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about umbrellas.

I just got off work at the umbrella factory. I was only covering for my friend.
I tried to tell my friends some clever jokes about umbrellas. But they just went over their heads.
The man put the umbrella away and opened his wallet. He was expecting some change in the weather.
My friend studying Economics advised me to put something away for a rainy day. I’ve decided to go for an umbrella.
The weather forecast calls for rain, therefore, I’ll bring an umbrella. It is the wetness protection program.

Umbrella companies can never be trusted. They run a shady business.
Do you know what always catches my eye? Short people with umbrellas.
My umbrella broke in half. It’s okay, though, since there is only a 50% chance of rain.
My friend wants a chicken-proof umbrella. She wants to use it when the weather is fowl.
My wife asked me why Santa uses a big umbrella. I told her, “Because of all the rain, dear.”

Cartoon graphic of 5 kids holding umbrellas while it rains as they walk on a blue background.

Best umbrella jokes

These next funny umbrella puns are some of our best jokes and puns about umbrellas!

What makes a happy umbrella? One that takes in the reins.
Why does Batman always carry an umbrella? Because every day is a Wayne-y day.
Why did the umbrella need to go to the therapist? He was told he had trouble opening up.
My girlfriend bought me an expensive umbrella. She has been holding it over my head ever since.
The person who invented the umbrella wanted to name it the “Brella.” However, she hesitated.