60 Funny Candy Puns

Here are 60 funny candy jokes and the best candy puns to crack you up. These jokes about candy are great jokes for kids and adults.

Cartoon graphic of a purple smiling candy on blue background.

Candy puns

Here is our top list of candy dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about candy, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this candy humor with others.

  1. What kind of boat has candy in the middle? A pin-yacht-a.
  2. How do you spell candy with two letters? C and Y.
  3. What sort of candy can you use to write with? Chalk-alate.
  4. Why wouldn’t the crab share his Halloween candy? He’s shellfish.
  5. What do you call a candy cane with graduated markings? A measure-mint device.
  1. What is a kangaroos favorite candy? Lolli-hops.
  2. What two candies are very clever? Smarties and Nerds.
  3. What do you call a snake that eats too much candy? A snack.
  4. What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy? Bone-bone.
  5. Why do Scandinavian kids visit candy stores a lot? Because it’s really Sweden there.
  1. What’s a robot’s favorite candy? A Wall-E-pop.
  2. Where do candy bars hang out on a plane? At the Sky Bar.
  3. What is red, white, and blue over winter break? A sad candy cane.
  4. Did you hear about the fight in the candy store? Some sucker got licked.
  5. Why did the man put a candy bar under his pillow? He wanted to have sweet dreams.
Cartoon graphic of a sore tooth holding candy on blue background.
  1. What is a leopard’s favorite candy? Dots.
  2. What’s a snowman’s favorite candy? Sno-Caps.
  3. What do you call a fire at a candy factory in Paris? A Bon-bonfire.
  4. What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have? A life saver.
  5. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe.
  1. What does candy do when you tell it a joke? It Snickers.
  2. Which chocolate candy bar is a cat’s favorite? A Kit Kat.
  3. Why did the candy bar cross the road? Because he was choco-LATE for the bus.
  4. Who gives Dracula the most candy on Halloween? His fang-club.
  5. Why should you have candy canes on hand during the Coronavirus lockdown? For encourage-mint.
  1. Who’s in charge of candy corn? The kernel.
  2. What parasites does candy get? Gummy Worms.
  3. What’s a Cops favorite kind of candy? Assaulted Caramel.
  4. What’s a southern farmer’s favorite treat? Cotton candy.
  5. If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do candy makers get? Tic tac toe.
  1. What’s an alien’s favorite candy? Martian-mellows.
  2. What’s a dentist’s worst nightmare? A lion that loves candy.
  3. What do parrots say when they see a candy bar? Cao-cao. Cao-cao.
  4. How can you tell if a flamingo is hiding in a funfair? The candyfloss tastes weird.
  5. What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs? Candy canes.
Cartoon graphic of a candy shop on blue background.

Candy one liners

Here are some great candy joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about candy.

  1. This’ll come in candy someday.
  2. Ending childhood obesity is as easy as taking candy away from a baby.
  3. It’s so hot this summer, the Halloween candy at Walmart is starting to melt.
  4. It’s important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times. It could be a lifesaver.
  5. I tried to steal candy from a baby. He slapped my hand away. Turns out he wasn’t born yesterday.
  1. I know someone who collects candy canes. They’re all in mint condition.
  2. I steal candy bars using slight of hand. You could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve.
  3. I ate some rainbow candy that I was a little concerned about; I’m okay now, it passed with flying colors.
  1. Candy prices have really gone up recently. I think it’s the Tic Tax.
  2. I got told a joke about candy bars. It wasn’t that funny so I just snickered.
  3. I always get Halloween and Valentine’s Day confused. They’re both about candy and being something you’re not.
Cartoon graphic of a smiling candy on blue background.

Best candy jokes

These next funny candy puns are some of our best jokes and puns about candy!

  1. What is a cannibal’s favorite candy? Mentos.
  2. What do you call a sheep covered in sugar? A candy baa.
  3. What is the Sun’s favorite candy? Starburst.
  4. How do programmers like their candy corn? Byte-sized.
  5. What does Bigfoot say when he ask for candy? Trick-or-feet.
  1. What country does candy come from? Sweeten.
  2. What do you call a burnt down candy shop? Caramel.
  3. What kind of glasses do gingerbread men wear? Eye candy.
  4. What is a geologist’s favorite treat? Rock candy.
  5. Why didn’t the ghost eat his candy? He didn’t have the stomach for it.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about candy, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny food puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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