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40 Funny Biscuit Puns

Here are 40 funny biscuit jokes and the best biscuit puns to crack you up. These jokes about biscuits are great jokes for kids and adults.

Cartoon graphic of a biscuit winking and smiling on a blue background.

Biscuit puns

Here is our top list of biscuit dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about biscuits, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this biscuit humor with others.

  1. Why did the biscuit cry? Because his father was a wafer so long.
  2. What do biscuits do when they’re happy? They give a crumbs up.
  3. What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg? Limp Biscuit.
  4. Which biscuit always has an upset tummy? A digestive.
  5. What does the giraffe say when it bites down a biscuit? A little goes a long way.
  1. What did the biscuit say when he fell off the shelf? Oh Crumbs.
  2. Which biscuit is always picking pockets? The jammy dodger.
  3. What do you call a soul singer with a biscuit on his head? Lionel Richtea.
  4. What did the biscuit say when it saw two friends knocked down? Crumbs.
  5. What’s the difference between an elephant and a biscuit? You can’t dip an elephant in your tea.
  1. If I have 10 biscuits and you take 5, what do you have? A slapped hand.
  2. Which type of biscuit can fly? The plain ones.
  3. What flavor of biscuit are a monkey’s favorite? Chocolate chimp.
  4. What do you call it when two Oreo cookies from the same bake fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
  5. How did the man solve the issue between a cheeseburger and a biscuit? He brought them to the food court.
Cartoon graphic of a chocolate biscuit standing and wearing sunglasses on a blue background.

Biscuit one liners

Here are some great biscuit joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about biscuits.

  1. Basketball players love biscuits because they can dunk them.
  2. To communicate with a biscuit, you need to use s’mores code.
  3. The baby biscuit couldn’t stop crying because his mother was a wafer so long.
  4. The muffin man and a biscuit man got into a fight. There were only crumbs left.
  5. A friend has a talking biscuit but I can never understand it. That’s the way the cookie mumbles.
  1. Some biscuits can be sassy, they know how to ginger snap.
  2. A cookie thief, now that really takes the biscuit.
  3. A biscuit that draws funny pictures is a snickerdoodle.
  4. I’m taking a day off school as I’m sick, I had too many biscuits and now I have a digestive problem.
  5. Gave blood but instead of a biscuit, they gave me some pitta bread and salad. Think it was a donor kebab.
  1. The biscuit went to the doctor’s because he was feeling crummy.
  2. When baking dog biscuits, be sure to use collie flour.
  3. I ate so many biscuits I was sick, it may have been an overdough-se.
  4. I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits, but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
  5. Internet is very different in UK than the USA. They don’t use cookies, they use biscuits.
Cartoon graphic of a chocolate chip biscuit with a silly face on a blue background.

Best biscuit jokes

These next funny biscuit puns are some of our best jokes and puns about biscuits!

  1. What is crunchy and says meow? A bis-cat.
  2. What’s the oldest biscuit? A jammy codger.
  3. Which biscuit floats? A water biscuit.
  4. Why did the biscuit visit the dentist? To get his filling replaced.
  5. I went to a biscuit website. I hit “Accept All Cookies” and got nothing.
  1. Why was the biscuit so rich? It earned a packet.
  2. Which biscuit is always insulting people? A disscuit.
  3. What do biscuits eat for a treat? Fish and chocolate chips.
  4. Asked for a helicopter biscuit. They didn’t have any so I had to have a plane one.
  5. What do biscuits do once they finished on the computer? Clear their cookies.
Cartoon graphic of a biscuit standing and with arms smiling on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about biscuits, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny food puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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