40 Funny Grandpa Jokes

Here are 40 funny grandpa jokes and the best grandpa puns to crack you up. These jokes about grandads are great jokes for kids and adults.

Cartoon graphic of a grandpa and his grandson laughing together on a blue background.

Grandpa puns

Here is our top list of grandpa dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about grandpas, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this grandpa humor with others.

  1. Why did Grandpa lose his hat? Hmm, that’s a real head scratcher.
  2. What did grandpa say to the old fountain? You aged well.
  3. What did grandpa name the Italian restaurant he started in grandma’s memory? Pasta Way.
  4. Why did dad put wheels on grandpa’s rocking chair? Because grandpa wanted to Rock-n-Roll.
  5. What did the mother turkey say to her mischievous son? If your grandpa saw you now, he would roll over in his gravy.
  1. What advice did grandpa pig have for his kids? Don’t take anything for grunted.
  2. What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? Look Grandpa, no hands.
  3. Why does grandma call grandpa spiderman? Because he finds it hard to get out of the bath.
  4. What happened when grandpa insisted to everyone that the Titanic would sink? He got kicked out of the theatre.
  5. What does grandpa do when you tell him to change his hearing aid? He doesn’t listen.
  1. What do stars and grandpa’s teeth have in common? They only come out at night.
  2. What do people call grandfather clocks? Old-timers.
  3. What does a bagel call its grandfather? Poppy.
  4. Why didn’t grandpa enjoy her new stairlift? It was driving him up the wall.
  5. Why did grandpa love grandma so much that he called her love, honey, darling even after 60 years of marriage? Because grandpa had forgotten grandma’s name.
Cartoon graphic of a grandpa walking with a cane and his two grand children who are carrying shopping bags on a blue background.

Grandpa one liners

Here are some great grandpa joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about grandpas.

  1. Shoutout to my grandpa. That’s the only way he can hear.
  2. My grandfather was a baker in the army. He went in all buns glazing.
  3. My granddad fought in the war and survived mustard gas and pepper spray. He’s now classed as a seasoned veteran.
  4. When my grandpa died he farted and we thought he was still alive. Turns out, he just let one R.I.P.
  5. At my grandpa’s funeral there was a bowl of his favorite candy on the table. They were bereave-mints.
  1. My grandfather, my mom, and my siblings all have diarrhea. Runs in the family.
  2. I tried to get my grandpa to go to yoga class yesterday. It was a bit of a stretch.
  3. My grandpa told me when he was small the alphabet only had 25 letters. Nobody knew Y.
  4. My grandpa’s so cheap, when he dies, he’ll probably walk towards the light and turn it off.
  5. My grandpa would always says, “When one door closes, another opens.” He was a good man, but a lousy cabinet maker.
  1. My grandpa taught me the value of top quality speakers. It was sound advice.
  2. My grandfather is 85 and he still doesn’t need glasses. He drinks straight from the bottle.
  3. My grandpa returned from the war with one leg. We still don’t know to who that leg belonged to.
  4. My grandpa always used to say to me, “Fight fire with fire.” It’s no wonder he got sacked from the fire service.
  5. Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass. But he has been gone for a lawn time.
Cartoon graphic of a grandpa holding his grandchild on a blue background.

Best grandpa jokes

These next funny grandad puns are some of our best jokes and puns about grandads!

  1. What do people call jokes when they get old? A grandpa joke.
  2. Why did grandpa tell the ghosts about his shirt size? Because he was a medium.
  3. I asked my dad what it’s like having the best son in the world. He replied “I don’t know, you’ll have to ask Grandpa.”
  4. What’s tall, wooden and complains about all of today’s digital gadgets? A grandfather clock.
  5. Even though it’s been 20 years since my grandfather choked to death on a piece of sushi. It’s still pretty raw.
  1. My late grandpa used to hate looking in the mirror. Humble man, terrible driver.
  2. Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type. At least he told us to be positive.
  3. My grandfather’s last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond. That’s a lot of pressure.
  4. My grandfather is always saying that in the old days people could leave their back doors open. Which is probably why his submarine sank.
  5. My grandad asked me how to print on his computer. I told him it’s Ctrl-P. He said he hasn’t been able to do that for ages.
Cartoon graphic of a grandpa reading a book to his grandson on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about grandpas, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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