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20 Funny Crystal Puns

ByChe Lewis

Here are 20 funny crystal jokes and the best crystal puns to crack you up. These jokes about crystals are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of crystal dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about crystals, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this crystal humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of a large crystal ball on a blue background.

Crystal puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about crystals that are also awesome crystal jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What do you call a crystal that tells jokes? A quartz jester.
  2. Why don’t crystals ever lie? Because they’re always transparent.
  3. What does a crystal want to be when it gets older? A rock star.
  4. How did the jewelers speech go? It was crystal clear.
  5. What do you call a crystal that always tells jokes? A pun-dant.
  1. Where do fortune tellers dance? At the crystal ball.
  2. Why did the crystal go on vacation? To get some peace and quartz.
  3. What do you call a religious drug addict? A crystal methodist.
  4. What do you need to make a crystal salad? Avocado, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice.
  5. Why did the crystal break up with its mineral friend? Because it was being taken for granite.
Cartoon graphic of colorful crystals a on a blue background.

Crystal one liners

Here are some great crystal joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about crystals.

  1. I visited a psychic the other day and stole her crystal ball. She should’ve seen it coming.
  2. I was just proposed to with a Magnesium Oxide crystal. OMg OMg OMg.
  3. Old geologists never die, they just recrystallize.
  4. My friend was arrested after carving equations into blocks of quartz. She was charged with the manufacturing of crystal math.
  5. Two crystal balls on a table. One turns to the other and says, “I don’t know what she sees in you.”
Cartoon graphic of a slab of purple crystal on a blue background.

Best crystal jokes

These next funny crystal puns are some of our best jokes and puns about crystals!

  1. What do you call four crystals in a band? A Quartz-tet.
  2. You might want to invest in Crystal balls. I’m told there is future in it.
  3. This winter, ice crystals will stick together and fall from the sky. Snow joke
  4. I went to a psychic today but I accidentally broke her crystal ball. It cost me a fortune.
  5. I used to be a fortune teller but all I could predict was really cold winters. Then I found out the crystal ball shop had sold me a snow globe.
Cartoon graphic of a purple crystal geode on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about crystals, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny jokes, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

Hi! I'm Che, and I hope you enjoy these jokes as much as me. These jokes lists are curated by me alone. I handpick the jokes for quality, create some myself or add ones that have been contributed by readers like you.

I constantly update Here's A Joke posts to ensure top quality. Not feeling a joke or got one to share? Let me know in the comments or contact me. With your support, I'm aiming for the best joke site around.

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