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20 Funny Porcupine Jokes

Here are 20 funny porcupine jokes and the best porcupine puns to crack you up. These jokes about porcupines are great jokes for kids and adults.

Cartoon graphic of a porcupine lying on its belly on a blue background.

Porcupine puns

Here is our top list of porcupine dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about porcupines, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this porcupine humor with others.

  1. What’s a porcupine’s favorite game to play? Poker.
  2. What do you call a bald porcupine? Pointless.
  3. What kind of toilet paper does a porcupine prefer? Quilted.
  4. What do you call a pig stuck in a cactus? A porcupine.
  5. What do you get when you cross a sheep with a porcupine? An animal that knits its own sweaters.
  1. How do porcupines hug? Carefully.
  2. What do you get if you cross a porcupine with a balloon? Pop.
  3. What kind of pine has the sharpest needles? A porcupine.
  4. What do you get if you cross a porcupine and a peacock? A sharp dresser.
  5. What did the porcupine say to the cactus“Hey there, good looking.
Cartoon graphic of a porcupine sitting down on a blue background.

Porcupine one liners

Here are some great porcupine joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about porcupines.

  1. A Porcupine’s favorite thing to do on date night is Netflix and Quill.
  2. Porcupines aren’t allowed at the school dance. They always spike the punch.
  3. A porcupine walks and bumps into a cactus and says, “Mum, is that you?
  4. My pet porcupine is scares me. It even once threatened to quill me.
  5. I took my kid to the pet store, and he wanted to get a porcupine who lost all its quills. I said, “That’s completely pointless”.
Cartoon graphic of a porcupine sitting down holding a mushroom on a blue background.

Best porcupine jokes

These next funny porcupine puns are some of our best jokes and puns about porcupines!

  1. What tree does bacon grow on? Porcupine.
  2. What is it called when a porcupine is hit by a car? Roadquill
  3. What do you call a porcupine riding a turtle? A slow poke.
  4. What is a porcupine’s favorite type of sandwich? Quilled cheese.
  5. What do you get if you cross a porcupine with an onion? A pain in the ass that brings tears to your eyes. (Sent in by Simon!)
Cartoon graphic of a porcupine with its arms and legs outstretched on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about porcupines, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny animal jokes, then check out these other great lists of funny puns:

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