95 Jokes About Cars

Here are 95 funny car jokes and the best car puns to crack you up. These jokes about cars are great car jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of car dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about cars, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this car humor with others.

Jump to:

• Car puns
• Car one liners
• Best car jokes

Car puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about cars that are also awesome car jokes for adults and kids to be told!

1. What do clowns fill their cars with? Laughing gas.
2. Did you hear about the car that was made out of sausages? It was a banger.
3. Want to hear a car joke? Ford Fiesta.
4. What did the tornado say to the sports car? Want to go for a spin.
5. What do you call a Spanish man who has lost his car? Carlos.

6. Why can’t motorcycles hold themselves up? Because they are two-tired.
7. When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway.
8. What happened when they shut down the robot motorway? Everyone had to take the R2-Detour.
9. What do you get when you put a car and a pet together? Carpet.
10. What does Dora the Explorer drive to a birthday party? A Ford Fiesta.

11. What’s a mixed feeling? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
12. What did the road crew have to do after the cheese crashed its car? Clean up de-brie.
13. When cars turn 13 years old, what happens to them? They have a car-mitzvah.
14. What happens when Kermit the Frog’s car breaks down? It gets toad.
15. What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos.

16. What caused the ice cream truck to break down? A rocky road.
17. What kind of vehicle does a chicken drive? A coop.
18. Why did the robot sleep under a car? He wanted to wake up oily.
19. Why can’t motorcycles do push-ups? Because they’re always two-tired.
20. Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car’s hood? Because he wanted people to shout, “Look at that S-car go.” when he drove past.

21. What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson.
22. What do you call a used car salesman? A car-deal-ologist.
23. What kind of car does an electrician drive? A volts-wagen.
24. How do turkeys drive a car? He wings it.
25. Why couldn’t the frog find where he parked his car? He’d been toad.

26. Why is Miss Piggy such a bad driver? Because all she does is hog the road.
27. What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A lamborghini.
28. How do you get four dragons into a car? Open the doors.
29. Where do pickles go to buy a car? The dillership.
30. Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He’s all right now.

31. What’s the difference between a Ferrari and six garbage bag full of recyclable cans? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
32. What kind of cars do people in Norway drive? Fjords.
33. What car did the successful sushi chef buy? A Rolls-Rice.
34. Did you know that Teslas come with a unique “new car” smell? They call it “Elon Musk.”
35. What kind of vehicle does Skeletor drive? A Zam-bone-i.

36. What was wrong with the wooden car? It wooden go.
37. What do you call a shrimp that gets run over by a car? Road Krill.
38. What do you call a Ford Fiesta that ran out of gas? A Ford Siesta.
39. Why couldn’t the car play football? It only had one boot.
40. Where do Volkswagens go when they get old? The Old Volks home.

41. What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis.
42. How is a golf ball different from a Chevy? You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
43. What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolks-wagen.
44. What kind of cars do cooks drive? Chef-rolets.
45. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

46. What’s the difference between BMWs and Porcupines? Porcupines carry their pricks on the outside.
47. What did the spider do when he got a new car? Took it out for a spin.
48. What do you do with old German cars? You take ‘em to the old Volk’s home.
49. What do you need to be able to drive in the outback? You need to show koala-fications.
50. What did the koalas say after getting in a fender bender? Eucalyptus.

51. Where do canines park their cars? In the barking lot.
52. Where do crabs catch trains? King’s Crustacean.
53. What type of car does the dog hate? A Cor-Vet.
54. What do you call it when only one finger steers your car? A thumb drive.
55. What kind of car does Yoda drive? A toyoda.

56. What do you say to a frog who needs a ride? Hop in.
57. What car does a snake drive? An ana-Honda.
58. How come chicken coops only have two doors? They would be chicken sedans if they had four.
59. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.
60. What kind of petrol does Vin use? Diesel.

61. Who can drive all their customers away and still make money? Taxi drivers.
62. What kind of car do frogs prefer? A Beetle.
63. What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
64. Which part of the car is the laziest? Wheels, because they are always tired.
65. What’s the difference between a cow and a car? I don’t have a car.

Car one liners

Here are some great car joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about cars.

66. I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
67. I ran my Subi into a lake. Now it’s a Scubaru.
68. When Jimi Hendrix was 16, he was in a car crash. Luckily it was just a Fender bender.
69. I stopped to pick up a hitchhiker. Turns out he was just telling me he approved of my driving.
70. I just got nine out of 10 on my driver’s test. The last guy was able to get out of the way.

71. My car was stolen. I was stuck with just my phone, No Kia.
72. Chasing a car will definitely make you tired, but you’ll get exhausted if you chase cars.
73. Bad news: Your car is totaled. Good news: After the wreck, your Audi is finally an innie.
74. I changed my car horn sound to gunshots. People move over now much faster.
75. I had a dream that I was a mechanic who fixed wrecked cars. It was an auto body experience.

76. That car salesman is a real car-deal-ologist. It’s been a long time since someone gave me such a stress test.
77. I heard Gordon Ramsey drives a cool car. Must be a Chef-rolet.
78. My sister told me you can’t make a car out of spaghetti, you ought to have seen her face when I drove pasta.
79. I wonder what happened to the frog who parked on the double yellow line? His car got toad.
80. A Tesla doesn’t come with a new car smell, they just come with Elon Musk.

81. A man drove his expensive car into a tree…And found out how the Mercedes bends.
82. There are a lot of female hormones in beer. When I drink five bottles I also can’t drive a car and start behaving illogically.
83. My sweetheart is always taking health food crazes too far. Now, it’s even affecting my driving. She took the carb-orator off my car.
84. Someone keyed the music teacher’s car. Fortunately, the damage seems to B Minor.
85. Kids, I bought the cat a new car. It’s a Cat-illac.

Best car jokes

These next funny car puns are some of our best jokes and puns about cars!

86. What’s the last thing a bug thinks about before it hits the windshield? Its butt.
87. What snakes are found on cars? Windshield vipers.
88. What did the traffic light say to the car? “Turn your head while I’m changing.”
89. What is the most edible part of a car? The passenger.
90. What’s a cowboy’s least favorite car? A Cattle-lack.

91. What is the favorite car of a musician? Honda-A-Chord.
92. During a car crash, what are you obligated to take care of? The witnesses.
93. Who does a foot call when his car breaks down? A toe truck.
94. What has 10 letters and starts with G-A-S? Automobile.
95. What kind of car does a cowboy drive? Audi.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about cars, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny vehicle jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

• Airplane jokes
• Boat puns