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100 Chuck Norris Jokes

ByChe Lewis

Here are 100 funny Chuck Norris jokes to crack you up.  These jokes about the living legend Chuck Norris are great jokes for kids and adults.

Cartoon graphic of a chuck norris head on a blue background.

Chuck Norris strength jokes

Here is our top list of Chuck Norris dad jokes. Find your favorites, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this Chuck Norris humor with others.

  1. Chuck Norris is able to slam a revolving door.
  2. The laws of physics always bend the rules for Chuck Norris.
  3. Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
  4. Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
  5. Chuck Norris tore up the Periodic Table. Because he only believes in the element of surprise.
  1. It takes Chuck Norris 5 seconds. To cook a minute steak.
  2. Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
  3. Chuck Norris once built a snowman. Out of warm water.
  4. When Chuck Norris tips the waiter, the waiter falls down.
  5. Chuck Norris once froze a volcano by looking at it.
  1. Chuck Norris’ trash throws itself out.
  2. Tornadoes are actually a result of Chuck Norris punching the wind.
  3. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a coal mine and turned it into a diamond mine.
  4. Chuck Norris found the last digit of pi.
  5. The sun has to wear sunglasses when Chuck Norris glances at it.
  1. Chuck Norris is able to make other people walk in his sleep.
  2. Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death, he won fairly and squarely.
  3. Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
  4. Chuck Norris can speak all languages even braille.
  5. Chuck Norris is able to start a fire using an extinguisher.

Chuck Norris doing the impossible jokes

  1. Chuck Norris eats his meat so rare that he only eats unicorns and dragons.
  2. Chuck Norris’s GPS never tells him to turn around.
  3. Chuck Norris once punched a cyclops between the eyes.
  4. Chuck Norris has never cooked a hot meal. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
  5. Chuck Norris was exposed to Covid-19. Covid-19 had to go into quarantine for a month.
  1. Chuck Norris hates ties. He prefers wins instead.
  2. Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
  3. Normal people tell ghost stories at the campfire, ghosts tell Chuck Norris stories.
  4. Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freeman’s life.
  5. Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in three moves.
Cartoon graphic of a black outline of Chuck Norris's face on a blue background.
  1. Chuck Norris once stared into the abyss. It’s never been seen since.
  2. When Chuck Norris can’t go to the gym, he goes shop lifting.
  3. Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
  4. Chuck Norris once made an onion cry.
  5. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
  1. Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to season his meat.
  2. Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
  3. Chuck Norris is able to sketch your portrait using an eraser.
  4. Chuck Norris is the only person who can divide by zero.
  5. Chuck Norris doesn’t pay taxes, taxes pay Chuck Norris.
  1. Chuck Norris does not use a spell check. A spellchecker uses Chuck Norris.
  2. Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
  3. Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
  4. Chuck Norris doesn’t worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on the fear of Chuck Norris.
  5. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a haircut. His hair is scared to grow.
  1. Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
  2. Chuck Norris’ heartbeat sounds like the US national anthem.
  3. Chuck Norris sacked his own shadow for being too slow.
  4. We Googled the last time a baddie defeated Chuck Norris. Zero results.
  5. When Chuck Norris walks through airport security, he makes them take off their shoes.
  1. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  2. There no bridges named after Chuck Norris? Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
  3. Chuck Norris ordered a Whopper at a Pizza Hut. And got one.
  4. Chuck Norris played a game of rock, paper scissors against his reflection, and won.
  5. Chuck Norris has a Grizzly Bear rug in his home. The bear is not dead

Other Chuck Norris jokes

  1. Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.
  2. Chuck Norris thinks, therefore the World is.
  3. When Chuck Norris was born the doctor asked him to name his parents.
  4. Chuck Norris once hit a huge rock with his golf club. We now call it the Moon.
  5. The Swiss Army uses Chuck Norris Knives.
Cartoon graphic of a strongman lifting weights with a Chuck Noriss head on a blue background.
  1. Chuck Norris once made a Slinky go upstairs.
  2. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  3. Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. The problem is, he has never cried.
  4. Chuck Norris doesn’t call the wrong number, people answer the wrong phone.
  5. When lightning strikes Chuck Norris, the sky gets a scar.
  1. Chuck Norris’s calendar goes from March 31 straight to April 2nd……because nobody fools Chuck Norris.
  2. Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
  3. Chuck Norris once threw a knife in Call of Duty and it killed someone in Battlefield.
  4. Chuck Norris was the true star of Star Wars. He was the force.
  5. Chuck Norris doesn’t take exams. He submits to no one.
  1. When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
  2. Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
  3. Chuck Norris doesn’t switch the light on, he scares the dark away.
  4. When Chuck Norris went to Burger King and ordered a big mac, they made it for him, perfectly.
  5. The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
  1. Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
  2. Chuck Norris eats coconuts without removing the shell.
  3. Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe air, he breathes fear.
  4. There are no streets named after Chuck Norris because no one would ever cross Chuck Norris.
  5. Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
  1. When Chuck Norris enters a building that is on fire, the Chuck Norris alarm rings.
  2. Chuck Norris mines bitcoin with a pen and paper.
  3. Chuck Norris only goes to sleep to let the Earth rest.
  4. Chuck Norris decides if a helium balloon will float.
  5. Chuck Norris was wrong once. He thought he made a mistake.
  1. Chuck Norris was once bitten by a poisonous snake. And after a week of excruciating pain, the snake died.
  2. When Chuck Norris went to McDonald’s and ordered a Happy Meal, it cried.
  3. Chuck Norris can pull a wheelie when riding a unicycle.
  4. When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
  5. Chuck Norris didn’t get a Covid-19 vaccine. Covid-19 got a Chuck Norris vaccine.
Cartoon graphic of 3 large Chuck Norris head copies on a blue background.

Best Chuck Norris jokes

These following jokes are some of our favorite Chuck Norris jokes!

  1. When Chuck Norris crosses the road, vehicles look both ways.
  2. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
  3. Chuck Norris is the only man that knows Victoria’s Secret.
  4. Time waits for no man. But always waits for Chuck Norris.
  5. Chuck Norris once played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
  1. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
  2. The Dead Sea was alive before Chuck Norris swam there.
  3. When Chuck Norris does push-ups he doesn’t push up. He pushes the Earth down.
  4. Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
  5. They wanted to put Chuck Norris on mount Rushmore but the granite wasn’t hard enough for his beard.

Pop culture

Carlos Ray “Chuck” Norris is an American martial artist, actor, and former professional fighter. Norris gained fame as a martial arts champion and later as an action movie star, appearing in films such as “The Way of the Dragon” (1972) alongside Bruce Lee and the “Missing in Action” series (1984-1988). His television series “Walker, Texas Ranger” (1993-2001) also contributed to his popularity.

The Chuck Norris jokes phenomenon began around 2005 when a website called Chuck Norris Facts was created. The site featured a collection of humorous, fictional, and often absurd “facts” about the actor’s physical prowess and incredible abilities.

These jokes quickly gained popularity on the internet, and many people started to create and share their own Chuck Norris jokes.

Today, Chuck Norris jokes continue to be a popular form of humor, often shared through memes and social media. The jokes have evolved over time, incorporating current events, pop culture references, and even other internet memes. Chuck Norris himself has embraced the phenomenon, even mentioning some of his favorite jokes in interviews.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about Chuck Norris, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

Hi! I'm Che, and I hope you enjoy these jokes as much as me. These jokes lists are curated by me alone. I handpick the jokes for quality, create some myself or add ones that have been contributed by readers like you.

I constantly update Here's A Joke posts to ensure top quality. Not feeling a joke or got one to share? Let me know in the comments or contact me. With your support, I'm aiming for the best joke site around.

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