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90 Funny Chemistry Puns

ByChe Lewis

Hey, fellow science enthusiasts, welcome to the elemental realm of chemistry humor! We’ve mixed together the ultimate concoction of chemistry puns to make you laugh.

Cartoon graphic of scientist holding tubes next to table on blue background.

Behind The Jokes

Hi! I’m Che, and this is your go-to spot for top-notch chemistry puns and jokes—clean and wholesome every time. Handpicked or contributed by readers like you, I constantly update to ensure top quality.

Not feeling a joke or got one to share? Let me know in the comments or contact me. With your support, we’re aiming for the best joke site around. Join the email list for weekly humor highlights, games, memes, and fun contests as well!

Chemistry puns

From punny takes on the periodic table to amusing twists on molecular bonds, I’ve curated these puns for their delightful wordplay.

  1. Why are chemists great for solving problems? Because they always have a solution.
  2. What is the most important rule in chemistry? Never lick the spoon.
  3. Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na.
  4. H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4? Drinking.
  5. What is the chemical formula for coffee? CoFe2.
  1. What element derives from a Norse god? Thorium.
  2. Want to hear a Potassium joke? K.
  3. Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.”OH SNaP.
  4. Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates.
  5. What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2
  1. Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.
  2. Do you have any sodium hypobomite? NaBrO.
  3. Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? OMG.
  4. How often should you tell a chemistry joke? Periodically.
  5. What is Cole’s Law? Thinly sliced cabbage.
  1. Why are atoms Catholic? Because they have mass.
  2. Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO.
  3. Did you hear about the dinosaurs? They Ar-gon.
  4. Why did the biologist break up with the physicist? They have no chemistry.
  5. Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
Cartoon graphic of chemist holding chemicals on blue background.
  1. What’s a chemist’s favorite type of dog? A Laboratory retriever.
  2. What did the cat say after drinking methanol? “MeOH MeOH.”
  3. Are you full of beryllium, gold, and titanium? Because you are BeAuTi-Full.
  4. Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy’s base.
  5. What did the thermometer say to the measuring cylinder? You may be graduated, but I have several degrees.
  1. How did the football cheerleader define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
  2. What did one titration say to the other? Let’s meet at the endpoint.
  3. How did the chemist survive the famine? He subsisted on titrations.
  4. What is the chemical formula for diarrhea? (CO(NH2)2)2.
  5. Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar? He got Avogadro’s number.
  1. What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon.
  2. What’s the dullest element? Bohrium.
  3. Why should you go drinking with neutrons? Because wherever they go, there’s no charge.
  4. What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together? Csl.
  5. You think you’re a 10? On the pH scale, maybe, because you’re basic.
  1. What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
  2. Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber? To reduce his carbon footprint.
  3. What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from? Separation anxiety.
  4. Why can you never trust an atom? They make up literally everything.
  5. What is the most loyal element? BROmine.
  1. When God created the earth, what mattered to him most?  Atom and Eve.
  2. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
  3. What did one charged atom say to the other? I’ve got my ion you.
  4. What did the chemist say when there was an explosion in the lab? Oxidants happen.
  5. Why is quantum mechanics is the original “original hipster”? It described the universe before it was cool.
Cartoon graphic of girl chemist on blue background.

Chemistry one liners

Dive into my handpicked collection of sharp and snappy chemistry one-liners. From witty insights on elements to clever comments on compounds.

  1. Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium? It went OK2.
  2. My chemistry experiment exploded. It’s ok, oxidants happen.
  3. I can’t remember that element, but it’s on the tip of my tungsten.
  4. I wish I was adenine. Then I could get paired with U.
  5. Now we are making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
  1. Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.
  2. Are chemical workers unionized?
  3. I Sulfur when you Argon.
  4. Chill, bro. It’s called ChemisTRY, not ChemiSUCCEED.
  5. If you do not want to lose an electron you just need to keep an ion it.
  1. The ice came up to the water and said, “I was water before it was cool”.
  2. If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
  3. My wife is a scientist whose hobby is to take photographs. She clicks wonderful photons.
  4. The calm reagent told the angry reagent to stop over-reacting.
  5. The cutest ion with a positive charge is a cation.
  1. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
  2. A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light”.
  3. Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
  4. The class was very rowdy, and as a result, the chemistry teacher lost her mole-cule.
  5. For a chemist, the most important element is the element of surprise.
  1. After losing an electron, the cation started feeling positive.
  2. The chemist was angry at his daughter and said, “Never put your neon the dining table.
  3. What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
  4. When Carbon saw Oxygen, she gleefully commented on their friendship, “You and I have such a strong bond”.
  5. When performing an exothermic experiment, it’s okay to feel the heat.
  1. The entire class decided to bunk the chemistry class but owing to low attendance, I couldn’t afford to mass it.
  2. The number of students in my chemistry class is tin.
  3. Someone threw sodium chloride at me. I said, “that’s a salt”.
  4. I dare you to lower your body temperature to absolute zero. I promise you’ll be 0K.
  5. Once, an organometallic compound went to a bar, and after a few drinks, he got epoxicated.
  1. One oxygen told his friend, “Come out to the pool party- there are two hydrogens for every oxygen out there.
  2. My bright chemist sister received her wedding photons quite late.
  3. The authorities couldn’t put a shackle on forest fires, because the combustion was a chain reaction.
  4. In the chemistry lab, the only thing under-reacting recently was the tepid flask.
  5. I tried writing jokes about the periodic table, but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
Cartoon graphic of scientist holding tube on blue background.

Best chemistry jokes

These next funny chemistry puns are some of my favorite jokes and puns about chemistry! Let me know if you agree in the comments or if there is another one you think deserves to be in this top 10 list.

  1. Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy’s base.
  2. If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
  3. What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?  HeHe.
  4. What did silver say to gold at the bar? Au, get outta here.
  5. Why is the world so diverse? It’s made up of alkynes of people.
  1. What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-o Acid.
  2. What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
  3. What’s the difference between chemistry jokes and physics jokes? Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.
  4. Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon, and yttrium? It was CoRnY.
  5. How did the hipster chemist burn his hand? He picked up his beaker before it was cool.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about chemistry, I hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny occupational jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

Hi! I'm Che, and I hope you enjoy these jokes as much as me. These jokes lists are curated by me alone. I handpick the jokes for quality, create some myself or add ones that have been contributed by readers like you.

I constantly update Here's A Joke posts to ensure top quality. Not feeling a joke or got one to share? Let me know in the comments or contact me. With your support, I'm aiming for the best joke site around.

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