85 Jokes About Farms

Here are 85 funny farm jokes and the best farm puns to crack you up. These jokes about farms are great farm jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of farm dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about farmers, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this farm humor with others.

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Farm puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about farmers that are also awesome farm jokes for adults and kids to be told!

Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar? He wanted sweet and sour pork.
What did the farmer say when he lost one of his cows? What a miss-steak.
Why did the pig take a bath? The farmer said “hogwash”.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
Why are farmers cruel? Because they pull corn by the ears.

What are the spots on black and white cows? Holstains.
What do you call the 200th anniversary of owning a buffalo farm? Bison-tennial.
Did you hear about the wooden tractor? It had wooden wheels, a wooden engine, wooden transmission and wooden work.
How did the farmers get the highest marks in the math exams? They were all pro-tractors.
Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field.

What would you get after crossing a robot and a tractor? A transfarmer.
Why did the farmer call his pig “Ink”? Because it was always running out of the pen.
What is a sheep’s favorite game? Baa-dminton.
What did the farmer call his cow? Pat.
What is a horse’s favorite game to play? Stable tennis.

What do you call a boyfriend who started a bee farm to help save the bees? He is a keeper.
How did the organic vegetable die? Natural causes.
What did the corn farmer say after a good harvest? There’s polenta more where that came from.
What do you call the spirit of a dead hen haunting a farm? A poultry-geist.
Why had the farmer buried cash in his soil? He wanted to make his farmland rich.

Which farm animal keeps the best time? A watch dog.
Where does a farmer get his medicine from? The farm-acist.
What happens when you get promoted as a senior director at Old MacDonald’s Farm? You are the new CIEIO.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
What do you get when you cross a farmer and some trendy headphones? Beets by Dre.

What type of horses only go out at night? Nightmares.
Why did the lamb call the police? Because he’d been fleeced.
Why did one fail in chicken farming? Not sure if they buried it too deep, or too far apart.
Why did the father tell his son to stop pretending to be a farm animal? He was sick of him horsing around.
How do you know your marriage is slowly turning into a melon farm? When you start hearing Honeydew this, Honeydew that.

What is the dog on the farm called? It is called a corn dog.
What happened when the farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
Did you hear about the wooden tractor? It had wooden wheels, a wooden engine, wooden transmission, and wooden work.
Why was the cucumber mad? Because it was in a pickle.
What’s a potatoes least favorite day of the week? Fry-day.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
Why were the baby strawberries crying? Their ma and pa were in a jam.
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime.
Why was the farmer who started farming crows arrested? They charged him with attempted murder.
What is similar between farms and dad jokes? The cornier the better.

Where do cows and pigs work? At a Farm-acy.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An eggroll.
What do you call a cow with no calf? Decaffeinated.
What’s the best thing about an ant farm with 9 ants? One more and you’ll have to start collecting rent.
Why did the cabbage win the race? Because it was ahead.

Where do farmer’s kids go to grow up? The kinder garden.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field.
Why do cows like being told farmer jokes? Because they like being amoosed.
What did the farmer say when the river flooded his farm? Dam it.

How do you get a farm girl to like you? A tractor.
What do you call when someone died making butter on his farm? It was a really unfortunate churn of events.
What’s the best part of farming? Getting down and dirty with my hoes.
Where do horses go when they’re sick? To the horsepital.
What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? Laughing stock.

What do you call cows grazing a pot farm? The steaks have never been higher.
What do you call an Arab dairy farmer? A milk sheik.
What is a happy farmer’s favorite candy? A Jolly Rancher.
How was the Doritos farm? It was a cool ranch.
Why did the cops arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.

Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? Because he was out standing in his field.
What do you give a sick horse? Cough stirrup.
What kind of things does a farmer get to make crop circles with? A pro tractor.
What does the farmer refer to his next-door horse as? His neigh-bor.
What do you call it when you move the modem to the barn due to poor network on the farm? Now you have stable Wi-Fi.

Here are some great farm joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about farms.

I asked a farmer if it’s easy to milk a cow. He said, “Sure. Any jerk can do it.”
Grain farmers have a tough life. They barley survive from wheat to wheat.
As farmers, we hear a lot of jokes about sheep. We’d tell them to the dog, but he’d herd them all.
If a cow laughed really hard would milk come out of her nose?
A farmer is so interested in conserving energy, she built a pig-powered car. She has to get rid of it, though. Every time she turns a corner, the tires squeal.

These next funny farm puns are some of our best jokes and puns about farms!

Why do the farmers go to watch movies often? To watch the trailers.
Why do you think the cow jumped over the moon? Because the farmer had cold hands.
What do you call a farm that’s just down the road? A nearm.
What new crop did the farmer plant? Beets me.
How do you get rid of a rabbit farm? A magician should do the trick.