My Favorite Duck Jokes

When I was like 13 I remember this article coming out of a scientific study about the funniest jokes. One of the things they found was that if you have a joke that involves an animal where the animal can be interchanged with another without ruining the essence of the joke, then make it a duck! Apparentl,y people found ducks the funniest! I still remember this, so hope you will too if you are ever making up your own jokes.

“If you’re going to tell a joke involving an animal, make it a duck“.
Richard Wiseman

If you’re out and about and see a duck and need a good dad joke to tell your family or friends, then hopefully you find the one you are looking for here!

graphic adult duck waving with blue background.

My Top 10 Duck Jokes

Why do spiders like ducks? They like their webbed feet.
What point of a view does a duck write a book in? Bird person.
Why does a duck have feathers? To cover up its buttquack.
What news did the duck get from the doctor? He had a perfect bill of health
Where do ducks go to search for jokes? The world wide webbed feet.
How do ducks propose? With a wedding wing.
What do you call a kind and successful duck? A waddle citizen.
What did the cow and duck name their new rock band? Cheese and quackers.
Why did the duck need his window fixed? There was a quack in it.
What do you call a duck that’s biting someone? Peking Duck.

More duck jokes and puns

What do you call a duck that breaks into people’s houses? A robber duck.
What do you call movies that ducks like to watch? Duck-umentaries.
What do you get if you mix ducks with fireworks? Firequackers.
What’s a duck’s favorite fantasy movie? Lord of the Wings.
What do you call a clever duck? A wise quacker.

If Donald throws a ball at you, you should Duck.
It’s really easy to surprise a duck, they’re often caught flat footed.
Ducks are the best tour guides. They’ve always got a bird’s eye view.
A scientist wanted the day to go faster, so he tied a clock to a duck. Time flew for a moment.
A duck walks into the pharmacy to purchase chapstick. And asks the cashier to put it on his bill.

Ducks watch the news each day to find out the feather forecast.
Ducks are terrible cooks. Everything they make is fowl.
A duck saved all its money in a bowl made of sticks. It had a nest egg.
The ducks weren’t happy when the council banned feeding them. There were a lot of angry birds.
A duck and a tropical bird were playing on the computer. The duck lost. Toucan play that game.

What happens if a duck with hiccups lays eggs? It lays scrambled eggs.
Most ducks live in what state? Duckota.
Why did the duck get a second job? He had too many bills.
What’s a duck’s favorite part of the news? The feather forecast.
Why don’t ducks need smartphones? The web is already on their feet.

graphic of three ducking's and adult white duck walking in a line with blue background.

What do you call the evil ruler of a small pond? A ducktator.
What did the lawyer say to the duck in court? “I demand an egg-splanation!”
Where did the duck go when he was sick? To the ducktor.
What do ducks eat at a baseball game? Quacker-jacks.
What do you get if you cross a duck and Santa Claus? A Christmas quacker.

Why do ducks like campfires? They love seeing them quackle at night.
What did the detective say to his partner? Let’s quack this case.
What do you call a ghost duck? A poultrygeist.
Where do ducks live? Bill-dings.
What has fangs and webbed feet? Count Duckula.

What’s a duck do when he hears a joke he likes? He quacks up.
What should a duck wear to a fancy event? A duck-sedo.
What do ducks carry their school books in? Quack-packs.
Why was the duck put into the basketball game? To make a fowl shot.
Did you hear about the duck that swam into sewage? He smelled fowl.

Where do tough ducks come from? Hard-boiled eggs.
Why did the duckling almost fall on the sidewalk? She tripped on a quack.
What kind of egg does an optimistic duckling hatch from? Sunny side up.
What do you call it when a group of mallards is making too much noise? Quackophany.
What does a duck say when they disagree with someone? That’s reduckulous.

graphic adult duck with blue background.

What do you call it when it’s raining chickens and ducks? Fowl weather.
What do you call a crate that’s filled with a bunch of ducks? A box of quackers.
How do you know if a duck is scared? He’s quacking in his boots.
On what side does a duck have the most feathers? The outside.
What is a duck’s favorite sea monster? The quacken.

What was the secret agent duck named? James Pond.
Why did the duck cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
Why do ducks fly south for the winter? It’s too far to waddle.
What time do ducks get up? The quack of dawn.
Why did the duck get detention? He couldn’t stop quackin’ jokes in class.

Why did the duck get a red card in the football game? For fowl play.
Did the duck couple make plans for their night out? No, they decided to wing it.
What game did the duck play at the arcade? Quack-a-mole
Why did the duck go to the chiropractor? To get it’s back quacked.
What do ducks use to fix things around their house? Duck tape!