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40 Funny Tomato Jokes

ByChe Lewis

Here are 40 funny tomato jokes and the best tomato puns to crack you up. These jokes about tomatoes are great tomato jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of tomato dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about tomatoes, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this tomato humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of a smiling tomato with hands on blue background.

Tomato puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about tomatoes that are also awesome tomato jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. What did the tomato say to the lettuce? Lettuce be friends.
  2. What do you call it when a chef has you choose between 2 tomatoes? An ultomato.
  3. Do tomatoes and potatoes have anything in common? Toes.
  4. What is red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.
  5. How did the tomato court the corn? He whispered sweet nothings into her ear.
  1. What caused the bread to knock over the tomato? Because he loafed him.
  2. What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time? Have a ketchup.
  3. Why did the tomato go out with a prune? Because he couldn’t find a date.
  4. Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw the salad dressing.
  5. What do you call a tomato with a trumpet? A tooty fruity.
Cartoon graphic of a smiling tomato with hands and legs on blue background.
  1. When the pasta say to the tomato? Don’t get saucy with me.
  2. What did the lemon in the salad say to the tomato? Give me a squeeze.
  3. Marvel’s greatest villain is Thanos. DC’s greatest villain is Rotten Tomatoes.
  4. Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was ahead and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
  5. When the cucumber and the cabbage got kidnapped by the tomato, what did they say to each other? Lettuce go.
  1. What are tomatoes favorite dance? Salsa.
  2. Why could the tomato outrun the broccoli? Because he wasn’t a vegetable.
  3. What’s red and square? An uncool tomato.
  4. What did the tomato say to the sad pickle? What’s the big dill?
  5. If I were a farmer, how would I measure my height? From my head, tomatoes.
Cartoon graphic of a smiling tomato with two hands while looking up on a blue background.

Tomato one liners

Here are some great tomato joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about tomatoes.

  1. I like to put coriander on my blended tomatoes. It’s soup herb.
  2. A friend rubbed tomato ketchup on his eyes. In Heinz sight, it wasn’t a good idea.
  3. A guy tried to start a fight by throwing dough, shredded cheese, and tomato sauce at me. So I said, “You wanna pizza me”.
  4. Puns about vegetables make me feel good from my head tomatoes.
  5. My wife asked me to put tomato ketchup on the shopping list that I was writing out. I can’t read a word now.
  1. Worst thing about salsa dancing is getting the tomato stains out afterwards.
  2. A cabbage, a tomato, and a nose were having a race. The cabbage was ahead, the nose was running, and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
  3. I love to smother my burger with lots of chunky tomato, onion and garlic condiment. I really relish it.
  4. Two tomatoes are walking across the road when a car drives over one of them. The other turns around and says “Hurry up ketchup.”
  5. As I walked back home after buying red tomatoes, this kid drove his cycle over my foot. Boy, I had never had this much pain to-ma-toes.
Cartoon graphic of a tomato smiling with hands on sides on a blue background.

Best tomato jokes

These next funny tomato puns are some of our best jokes and puns about tomatoes!

  1. What did the vegetarian say to the doctor? I feel good. From my head, tomatoes.
  2. What looks like a half tomato? The other half.
  3. What do boats eat with a spoon? Tomato sloop.
  4. What do you call a tomato that self-identifies as a carrot? A Transplant.
  5. Why did Mrs. Tomato turn red? She saw Mr. Green Pea over the back fence.
  1. What type of tomato that smells the best? A Roma.
  2. How do you get rid of unproductive tomatoes? Can them.
  3. How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
  4. Why is O scared of Tom? Because tom-ate o’s.
  5. What did Arnold Schwarzenegger’s say after watering his tomato seeds? You have been germinated.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about tomatoes, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny fruit jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

Hi! I'm Che, and I hope you enjoy these jokes as much as me. These jokes lists are curated by me alone. I handpick the jokes for quality, create some myself or add ones that have been contributed by readers like you.

I constantly update Here's A Joke posts to ensure top quality. Not feeling a joke or got one to share? Let me know in the comments or contact me. With your support, I'm aiming for the best joke site around.

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