60 Funny Monday Jokes

Start your week off with a laugh! Our Monday jokes collection aims to help you combat the Monday blues with humor. We’ve got Monday puns, one-liners and Monday memes! If you’ve got any of your own Monday fun to add, comment below!

Monday puns

If your sense of humor leans towards the punny side, you’re in the right place. We’ve rounded up some of our best Monday jokes.

1. What is the worst Monday one can have? The next one.
2. What’s the best day of the week for NASA to launch a rocket? Moon-day.
3. Why do fish always congregate on Mondays? It’s the start of the school week.
4. On Monday mornings, what does the executioner say? Time to beheaded to work.
5. What’s the best advice for getting through the start of the work week? Just take it Mon-day at a time.

6. Why did Boba Fett sleep Tuesday through Sunday? He was a Mondaylorian.
7. What do you call someone who is happy on a Monday? Unemployed.
8. What did the calendar maker do after he created an entry for Monday? He called it a day.
9. Why do employees get discouraged after 6 months on the job? After 24 weeks, they have a case of the Mondays.
10. Why do employees always look so tired on Mondays? Because they’re starting the work weak.

11. On what day do ghosts do their howling? Moan-day.
12. What did the cashew say on Monday morning? Monday always drives me nuts.
13. Why was the M&M excited to get to school on Monday? He wanted to be a Smartie.
14. Why did the zombie have to stay at home from school on Monday? He was feeling rotten.
15. Why did the corrupt calendar go to prison at the start of the week? He had been Monday laundering.

16. Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at Monday jokes? He didn’t find them humerus.
17. How do you make time go fast on Monday? Throw a clock.
18. How do you keep the dreams alive on Mondays? By hitting the snooze button.
19. How do you know that weddings on a Monday are sad? When you see the cake is in tiers too.
20. What do cows do on Monday nights? Go to the mooooooovies.

21. Why was the pirate excited for school on Monday? She had arrrrrt class.
22. Why can’t Monday lift Saturday or Sunday? Because Monday is a weak-day.
23. What’s the worst sound on Monday morning? Alarm clocks.
24. How do cheeses great each other on Monday mornings? Have a gouda week.
25. What did the cyclops say when he was told to wake up for school on Monday? Eye don’t want to get up.

26. What does a taxidermist do on Mondays? Nothing special, just the usual stuff.
27. Why was Sunday afraid of Monday? Because Monday through Friday.
28. What day of the week are demons most tired? De-Monday.
29. What can really ruin your Friday? Finding out it’s only Monday.
30. When doesn’t Monday start with an “M”? When it’s yesterday, today or tomorrow.

31. Why was the broom late for work on Monday? He over-swept.
32. What is the other name of Monday? Day 1 of the hostage situation.
33. What’s the best time to get a discount on robotic parts? Cyborg Monday.
34. What is the best way to describe Monday? Mondayne.
35. What do procrastinators do on Mondays? They decide that they are going to stop procrastinating next Monday.

36. Which day of the week makes werewolves howl? Moon-day.
37. When did the King have his jousting contests? On Monday Knight.
38. If a man arrived in a town with his horse on a Saturday and stayed there for one night, how is it possible that he arrived back home on Monday? The horse’s name was Monday.
39. What is large on Sunday and Saturday, small on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and disappears on Monday? The letter S.
40. In a calendar, Monday comes before Sunday. But when does Monday come before Sunday? In the dictionary.

51. What is the shortest horror story ever? Monday.
52. What do you call Mondays when there aren’t any zoom meetings? Meetless Mondays.
53. What do you call a sundae that melts away and turns into garbage? A Monday.
54. What was the most depressing part of the week? Monday mourning’s.
55. What’s long, hard, and waiting for you? Monday.

56. What is scarier than Friday the 13th? Monday the 13th.
57. What does a calendar say after Monday? W T F.
58. What is the bright side of Monday? It happens only once a week.
59. What happened to the witches who broke the school rules on Monday? They got ex-spelled.
60. How many consultants do you need to change a lightbulb? You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.

Monday one liners

Here are some great Monday joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about Mondays.

41. Here is a fact: After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.
42. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
43. On Monday we start Diarrhea Awareness Week. It runs until Friday.
44. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Those were the days.
45. Monday: Greg, Tuesday: Ian, Wednesday: Greg, Thursday: Ian, Friday: Greg, Saturday: Ian, Sunday: Greg – This is the Greg-or-Ian calendar.

46. They say every day is a gift but I don’t think they included Mondays in that list.
47. One day on Venus lasts 5,832 hours. The same as one Monday on Earth.
48. Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. Coffee!
49. I hate mornings. And Mondays. And Monday mornings most of all.
50. What if Mondays were created to punish us for the things we did over the weekend?

Monday memes

These funny Monday memes are great to share on your socials! Tag us on Facebook!

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about Mondays, we hope you had a good laugh.If you want to hear more great jokes, then check out these other great lists of puns!

• Money jokes
• Flying puns
• Jokes about brides
• Groom jokes