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65 Funny Biology Jokes

ByChe Lewis

Biology – the study of life and a barrel of laughs! With a love for puns and all things cheesy (not just the bacteria cultures), I’m sharing some of our favorite and funniest jokes with you.

Cartoon graphic of scientist looking through a microscope on blue background.

 And if you’ve got a joke to add, I’d love to hear it in the comments below. Keep the biology banter going!

Biology puns

Who doesn’t love a good pun, especially when it’s about biology? This list is teeming with witty (and corny) biology puns.

  1. Why wouldn’t the scientist go into the haunted house? He was too petrified
  2. Why didn’t anyone want the biologist’s new book? It was a hard cell.
  3. What does a biologist tell you when you have to give blood? B positive.
  4. Why did the biologist break up with the physicist after the first date? They had no chemistry
  5. What did the brother cell say to his sister cell when he ran into the table? Mitosis
  1. Why do bacteria like to travel? It makes them more cultured.
  2. What do hipster biologists wear? Skinny genes.
  3. Why did the scuba diver fail biology? He was below C level.
  4. What do you call a cab that provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis. (Fun fact – Chemotaxis is how small organisms like cells and bacteria move in response to chemicals they sense in their surroundings. It’s like their built-in navigation system guided by chemical signals.)
  5. Did you hear about the microbiologist who traveled to 15 different countries and learned to speak seven languages? He was a man of many cultures.
  1. What do you get when you mix picture day with writing a biology essay? photos-and-thesis
  2. How do you pass a biology test on excretion? Process of elimination.
  3. When a plant is sad, what do other plants do? Photosympathize
  4. My Biology teacher told me ants are female The males are called uncles
  5. How does a marine biologist end a conversation? Sea you later!
  1. Why do biologists look forward to casual Fridays? They’re allowed to wear genes to work.
  2. What’s the opposite of Nutrition? Old-trition.
  3. Why was the biology teacher so popular at school? He was a fungi.
  4. What was the name of the leader of the group of holy biologists? Saint Nucleus.
  5. Why did the biologist get booed off the stage during American Idol? He was caught Lipidsynching
Cartoon graphic of biological equipment and items on blue background.

Funny Biology Jokes

From genetics to evolution, there’s a joke for every biology topic under the sun! Dive deep into this list; I promise you’ll come out with a chuckle or two.

  1. What’s was the pirate favorite amino acid? Arrrrrrr-ginine.
  2. What musical instrument do biologists play? Organs
  3. What do biologists wear when they play hockey? Helminths.
  4. Why was the girl worried about biology class? She has a Nervous System.
  5. Why was the amoeba sad? His parents just split.
  1. Why did the woman break up with the biologist? He was too cell-fish.
  2. Where did the viruses go? They flu away.
  3. What do you call it when your Biology grade is close to an F? Biodegraded.
  4. Why do biologists look forward to casual Fridays? They’re allowed to wear genes to work.
  5. What do biologists post on Instagram? Cell-fies.
  1. Why aren’t students allowed in the biology teachers’ lounge? It’s for staph only.
  2. What do you call an organic compound with an attitude? A-mean-o acid.
  3. How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? Romeostasis.
  4. Do you want to hear a potassium joke? K.
  5. I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed. Guess my thymine was off.
  1. What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
  2. What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
  3. I passed my Algebra test today but failed my Biology exam. The aftermath was really difficult.
  4. I walked into the biology lab and saw my lab partner dissecting an insect. His fly was open.
  5. What did the biology student say when the advisor asked if anyone wanted to be a mortician? Over my dead body!
  1. I told my dad I couldn’t believe I’d failed my biology exam. He said, I’m your mum.
  2. What do you call the leader of a biology gang? The nucleus.
  3. A couple of biologists had twins. They named one Jessica and the other Control.
  4. What’s the tiniest virus in the world? Smallpox.
  5. Today in biology class we were dissecting an eye. I kept thinking of jokes but they were getting cornea and cornea.

A few more of the funniest biology jokes

  1. Is there a big difference between male and female anatomy? Yes, a vas deferens.
  2. Why did the bacteria cross the microscope? To get to the other slide.
  3. What do you call a place of worship made out of amino acids? A cysteine chapel.
  4. What do you call the union of a sheep and a ram? A zygoat.
  5. Why couldn’t the plants escape prison?  Because their cells were surrounded by walls.
Cartoon graphic of double helix on blue background.
  1. What did one tree say to the other? I’m lichen your vibe.
  2. What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your style. (Fun fact. The pistil, found in the flower’s center, consists of three parts: stigma, style, and ovary.)
  3. What is the easiest way to determine the sex of a chromosome? Pull down its genes!
  4. What did the cautious biologist say? The only cleavage I want to see is at the cellular level. (Fun fact – After fertilization, cleavage divides a large egg cell into many smaller cells called blastomeres.)
  5. What kind of pants do molecular biologists wear? ​Designer genes.
  1. What did one scientist say to the other when he heard his hypothesis? You can’t be cereus?
  2. Why was the periodic table so good at sneaking?It had the element of surprise.
  3. “Are you hungry?” the flower asked its friend. The reply came, “Yeah, I could go for a light snack.
  4. What does a biologist do in their spare time? Go fission.
  5. What’s a French biologist’s favorite cheese? Em-Brie-oh 
  1. What do other plants do when another plant is sad? They photosymphatize
  2. I don’t think I need a spine. It’s holding me back.
  3. What did one brain say to another? I lobe you.
  4. What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel? That’s a moray.
  5. If you’ve ever wondered how biologists contact each other? They use their cell phones.
Cartoon graphic of female biologist on blue background.

Final thoughts

Well, there you have it! A fun little collection of biology humor to brighten your day. Science can be fun and funny. And if you’ve got a joke to add, I’d love to hear it in the comments below. Keep the biology banter going!

If you want to hear more funny occupation jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

Hi! I'm Che, and I hope you enjoy these jokes as much as me. These jokes lists are curated by me alone. I handpick the jokes for quality, create some myself or add ones that have been contributed by readers like you.

I constantly update Here's A Joke posts to ensure top quality. Not feeling a joke or got one to share? Let me know in the comments or contact me. With your support, I'm aiming for the best joke site around.

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