|

55 Funny Santa Jokes

ByChe Lewis Updated on

Christmas time is one of the best times of year to tell dad jokes and here I’ve been collecting the best Santa jokes for years and trimming the naughty list ones. All these Santa puns have been hand-picked or made by me (an actual human.. I know right!).

Anyway, read on, share a favorite, and if you’ve got a good one, send it in so I can keep this archive fresh. Oh, and Merry Christmas!

Cartoon graphic of Santa's head winking on a blue background.

Santa puns

  1. Why is Santa so good at karate? He has a black belt.
  2. Why did Santa go to the liquor store? He was looking for holiday spirits.
  3. What has big ears and makes toys for Santa? Elfants.
  4. Why does Santa have trouble spelling? He thinks the alphabet has Noel.
  5. Why was Santa’s little helper so sad? He had low elf-esteem.
  1. What are Santa’s favorite crisps? Kringles.
  2. What does Santa spend his wages on? Jingle Bills.
  3. Which of Santa’s friends is the most chill? Jack Frost.
  4. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck? A Christmas quacker.
  5. What does pirate Santa say? Row row row.
  1. What did Santa name his pet frog? Mistletoad.
  2. Where does Santa stay when he’s on holiday? In a ho-ho-hotel.
  3. Where does Santa cash his checks? At the snow bank.
  4. How much did Santa’s sleigh cost? It was on the house.
  5. How does Santa take pictures? With his Pole-aroid camera.
Cartoon graphic of Santa waving with green gloves on a blue background.
  1. Why is Santa so busy? He’s wrapped up in a lot of things.
  2. Why is Santa scared of chimneys? Because he’s claus-trophobic.
  3. How did Santa’s little helper stop eating cookies? He used elf control.
  4. What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat? Santa Claws.
  5. What is Santa’s favorite element in the periodic table? Ho Ho Ho.
  1. Who brings teeth gifts for Christmas? Santa Floss.
  2. Which of Santa’s reindeer are dinosaurs afraid of? Comet.
  3. What does Santa eat for breakfast? Mistle toast.
  4. Where do Santa’s elves make the just acceptable toys? In the satisfactory.
  5.  What kind of drink does Santa give to naughty girls and boys? Coal-a.
  1. What is the name of Santa’s naughtiest deer? Rude-olph.
  2. Ladies. Please stop asking Santa Claus for the perfect man. I almost got kidnapped 3 times today.
  3. Santa Claus announced that he’s giving everyone the same gardening tool for Christmas. Hoe! Hoe! Hoe.
  4. Amazon is a lot like Santa Claus. It brings gifts to our homes, gets busy around Christmas and is very eager for our cookies.
  5. Why doesn’t Santa eat junk food? Because it’s bad for your elf.
  1. What was Santa’s favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree.
  2. What’s red, white and green? Santa Claus when he’s travel sick.
  3. How do you wash your hands at Christmas? With hand Santa-tizer.
  4. What do you sing at Santa’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow.
  5. What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson.
Cartoon graphic of a Santa swinging on Christmas lights on a blue background.
  1. Who’s Santa’s favorite singer? Elfish Presley.
  2. I took my son to see Santa Claus yesterday and he stank of booze and cigarettes. God knows what Santa Claus thought of him.
  3. Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Claus and unfortunately, so did my parents.
  4. What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less.
  5. How is a flag like Santa Claus? They both hang out at the pole.
  1. Santa Claus will be allowed to go out and deliver presents without spreading Covid-19. He has spent the last year in the North Pole in Ice-olation.
  2. How do Santa’s elves eat pancakes? In short stacks.
  3. How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
  4. Santa hit a dragon whilst flying over medieval England. I guess you could say he sleighed it.
  5. When my parents told me there was no Santa Claus I was so mad at them. I stomped out the door, got in my car and drove away.
Cartoon graphic of Santa waving with a sack of toys on a blue background.

Best Santa jokes

These jokes about Santa are my top ranked favs!

  1. What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap.
  2. What does Santa use to bake a cake? Elf-raising flour.
  3. What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause.
  4. What does Santa cook with in the kitchen? A u-tinsel.
  5. What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas.
  1. What happens after December 25? Santa Close.
  2. Who delivers Christmas presents to baby sharks? Santa Jaws.
  3. What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.
  4. How you can tell that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents.
  5. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus as he left on Christmas Eve? I think it’s going to rain, dear.

If you want to hear more funny seasonal puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

Hi! I'm Che, and I hope you enjoy these jokes as much as me. These jokes lists are curated by me alone. I handpick the jokes for quality, create some myself or add ones that have been contributed by readers like you.

I constantly update Here's A Joke posts to ensure top quality. Not feeling a joke or got one to share? Let me know in the comments or contact me. With your support, I'm aiming for the best joke site around.

Similar Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *