40 Funny Jokes You Need For New Years!
Kick off the New Year with a laugh using these funny jokes for New Years. Whether hosting a party or sharing some cheer, these jokes are perfect for welcoming 2024 with a grin!
Remember, before the clock strikes midnight on Dec. 31 be sure to lift your left leg. That way, you’ll start off the New Year on the right foot.
Jokes For The New Year
1. Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer? To start the new year in a cool way!
2. What does a ghost say at the New Years eve party? Happy Boo year!
3. What’s a New Year’s resolution? Something that goes in one year and out the other!
4. What’s a cow’s favorite holiday? Moo Year’s Eve!
5. Why did the man sprinkle sugar on his pillow on New Year’s Eve? He wanted to start the year with sweet dreams.
6. What does a caterpillar do on Jan 1st? Turns over a new leaf.
7. What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve? I haven’t seen you since last year!
8. What do you call a snowman party on New Year’s Eve? A snowball!
9. Why do birds fly south for New Year’s Eve? Because it’s too far to walk!
10. What did the little champagne bottle call his father? Pop!
Let the jokes continue
11. Why did the soccer player hold onto the ball at midnight? He wanted to have a ball this year!
12. Why are New Year’s resolutions like knitting? You pick them up on January 1st and drop them by February!
13. What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve? He got 12 months!
14. What do you use in the bathroom on Jan. 1 after No. 2? A New Year’s bidet.
15. What’s the worst part of jogging on New Year’s Eve? The ice falling out of your cup!
16. My New Year’s resolution is to see my cup half-full. Preferably with wine, gin, or vodka.
17. What did the kids say about the fireworks on New Year’s? They were a blast.
18. Why did 2023 go by in a blur? My resolution must’ve been too low.
19. Where did the chef celebrate his New Year’s eve party? Thyme’s Square.
More New Year Jokes
20. What is corn’s favorite holiday? New Ears Eve
21. How did Prince celebrate the new millennium? He partied like it was 1999.
22. My New Year’s resolution was to drop my bad habits, but no one likes a quitter.
23. What was Dr. Frankenstein’s New Year’s resolution? To make new friends.
24. What do you call someone who says they know all the words to “Auld Lang Syne?” A liar.
25. What did Che Guevara make on New Year’s Day? A New Year’s revolution.
26. I made a New Year’s resolution to stop procrastinating…. I think I’ll start next year.
27. Where can you practice multiplication tables on New Year’s Eve? Times Square.
28. What New Year’s resolution should a basketball player never make? To travel more.
29. What does a jeweler do on Dec. 31? Ring in the New Year.
30. What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve? Social Security.
31. What is the snowman’s New Year’s resolution? To chill out more.
32. What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day? Happy New Cheer!
33. Knock knock! Who’s there? Abby. Abby who? Abby New Year!
34. Knock knock! Who’s there? Razor. Razor who? Razor glass and toast to a happy new year.
35. What’s the easiest way to keep your New Year’s resolution to read more? Watch TV with subtitles.
Keep ’em coming!
36. I love when they drop the ball in Times Square. It reminds me of what I did all year.
37. An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
38. Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve? Waiting on the punchline.
39. An iPhone and a firework were arrested on New Year’s Eve. One was charged and the other was let off.
40. I made a New Year’s resolution to drink more water. So far I’ve only gotten as far as “drink more.”
Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year’s Eve.
It’s December 31st.
Hope you enjoyed these jokes! And before you know it, the New Year will have passed and it’s time for January jokes and Valentine’s Day jokes!
