33 Funny Battery Jokes
Don’t you hate it when your batteries in your remote control run out? I am soo lazy that I try turn them over, rub them a bit and then pop them back in… magically it works again for a bit.. I tell myself I’ll get some new batteries the next day, but yeah, this seems to happen every night…
Anyway here is my list of battery jokes I put together, with a few of my own I made. All these battery puns have been reviewed by me and if you have a joke to add, put it in the comments for me to read!
Battery puns
- Did you hear about the guy who stole batteries? He was charged on the spot.
- What do you call a battery that gets hurt? AA tragedy.
- What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged.
- What is the liquid inside the iPhone’s battery called? Apple juice.
- What does a vampires torch run on? Bat-teries.
- What fruits do the batteries like the most? The currants.
- What did the judge say to the battery when he took the stand? You’re guilty as charged.
- What has 2 hands, a face and is only ever right twice a day? A clock with no battery.
- What did the Battery say on his Blind Date? I have a lot of energy and I am a pretty positive guy. But I do have a negative side.
- What is the downtime you experience while your batteries recharge called? Re-volting.
Battery one liners
- Just found two lumps on my car battery. Got them tested, one came back positive. I hope it’s not terminal.
- Would you like a dead battery? They are free of charge.
- Did you hear that the Energizer bunny got arrested? He was charged with battery.
- A man was found electrocuted, with only a car battery in the room. Police are still looking for leads.
- I was arrested for drinking battery acid. But I wasn’t charged.
- Just broke the leads to my new battery. Such a shame, it had so much potential.
- Batman’s suit ran out of battery power. Batman: I need a battery. Robin: What’s a tery?
- The batteries in my keyboard died while I was playing a prison simulator. Now I can’t escape.
- A robot went on a crime spree in the neighborhood before it ran out of battery. The cops are refusing to charge the perpetrator.
- A stranger attacked me with 1 triple A energizer and sodium chloride. I guess you could say I’m a victim of a salt and battery.
- A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.
- I accidentally left some AA batteries in my pocket when I put them in the wash. Now that’s what I call clean energy.
- So the batteries in my flashlight ran out. You would think I would be upset, but I was actually delighted.
Best battery jokes
- I invented a surgical robot. So far it only operates on batteries.
- I tried installing a calendar app but accidentally installed a colander. It keeps draining my battery.
- Which sea creature wants smaller batteries? The “more A” eel
- I can sympathize with batteries. I never get included in anything either.
- I found a load of batteries washed up on the beach. I was collecting C Cells on the sea shore.
- What did the little battery scream when it stood on a lego brick? AAA.
- Why do robots like pancakes? Because they are batter-y.
- I have no life but I can die. What am I? A battery.
- What’s the most Canadian battery? Triple Eh.
- Why was the 9V battery thrown out of church? Because they were holding an AA meeting.
If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:
