40 Funny Bald Jokes

Here are 40 funny bald jokes and the best bald puns to crack you up. These jokes about being bald are great jokes for kids and adults.

Bald puns

Here is our top list of bald dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about being bald, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this bald humor with others.

What do you call an airplane full of bald people? Receding airlines.
Why are lice sad on the head of a bald man? They’re all homeless.
What happens when two bald men put their heads together? They make an ass of themselves.
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? Thanks, I’ll never part with it.
When do you notice that you are going bald? When it takes longer and longer to wash your face.

What do you call a bald man on a windy day? Fortunate.
What’s the difference between a bald man and an egg? Eggs get laid.
Why is it against the law to hunt bald eagles? Because it’s ill-eagle.
Why did Harry Potter suddenly go bald in his teens? He lost his Hedwig.
Why was there a lot of controversy about the bald man’s will? Turns out he didn’t have any heirs.

What should you not say in an argument against a bald person? Hair me out.
How can you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed to one side.
When do you know you’re going bald? When you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
Why are people really worried about this recession? They fear that they may go bald.
The man walked in the rain without anything covering his head, but he didn’t get rain on a single hair. How? He was bald.

What kind of bird doesn’t need a comb? A bald eagle.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? He hoped they’d look like hares.
What did René Descartes say when he went bald? Cogito hair go sum.
What did the bald man say to himself in the mirror? What do we have hair?
What do diarrhea and baldness have in common? They both run in your genes.

Here are some great bald joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about being bald.

Being bald means you went back to your roots.
My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
I once knew a bald guy who liked to draw rabbits on his head because from a distance. They looked like hares.
I like playing chess with bald people in the park. The problem is, it’s kind of hard to find 32 of them.
I was gonna make a joke about a bald guy’s hair. But then I remembered there was nothing to joke about.

A bald guy slipped in the shower. Fell on his head and slipped again.
I’m not saying you are going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.
I was fed-up with people laughing at me for being bald, so I went out and bought a hairpiece. It was a small price toupee.
The last time I washed my hair was 3 months ago I wasn’t completely bald then.
Bald people struggle with improvisation. They can’t seem to come up with anything off the top of their head.

These next funny bald puns are some of our best jokes and puns about being bald!

What do you call a bald porcupine? Pointless.
What does a balding magician have in his hat? Hare.
Why is the moon bald? It has no air.
What is the best thing about being tall and having a bald patch? People think you’re just tall.
My wife is leaving me because I’m going bald. I’m not bothered though. It’s hair loss.

What do you call lice that live in a bald man’s head? Homeless.
Why don’t bald people use keys? Because they don’t have any locks.
What happened between a bald person and their hair? They had a falling out.
Why do bald people always look forward to sunny days? That’s their time to shine.
What do you call a barber that only works on bald people? An air stylist.