60 Funny Computer Jokes

Here are 60 funny computer jokes and the best computer puns to crack you up. These jokes about computers are great computer jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of computer dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about computers, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this computer humor with others.

Jump to:

• Computer puns
• Computer one liners
• Best computer jokes

Computer puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about computers that are also awesome computer jokes for adults and kids to be told!

1. Where did the computer go? I don’t know, he ransomware.
2. What does a computer programmer wear? Whatever is in the dress code.
3. Why did the Wi-Fi and the computer get married? Because they had a connection.
4. What you call it when computer programmers make fun of each other? Cyber boolean.
5. What did one computer say to the other after a 12 hour car ride? Darn, that was a hard drive.

6. How do trees get on a computer? They just log in.
7. Which way did the programmer go? He went data way.
8. What kind of dogs do programmers have? Computer Labs.
9. Why can’t elephants use computers? Because they’re scared of the mouse.
10. What’s it called when it takes you a while to find RAM for your computer? Short-term memory loss.

11. Why do programmers like dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.
12. What do computers do on a beach vacation? Surf the net.
13. What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.
14. Why did the computer spy get fired? She couldn’t hack it.
15. Why did the computer programmer’s girlfriend leave him? He had problems committing.

16. Why do programmers wear glasses? Because they can’t C#.
17. How do lumberjacks shut down their computers? They log off.
18. How does a computer learn something new? Bit by bit.
19. Do you know the band 1023 megabytes? They haven’t had a gig yet.
20. Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road? To get to the other slide.

21. Why did the computer crash? It was a hard drive.
22. Who is a computer’s favorite singer? A Dell.
23. What is a computer’s favorite animal? A RAM.
24. Why are spiders so good at the internet? They know all the good web sites.
25. Why do programmers never run the AC? They prefer to open windows.

26. Why are people afraid of computers? They byte.
27. Where do naughty disk drives get sent? Boot camp.
28. How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that’s a hardware issue.
29. How did the computer get out of the house? He used windows.
30. What did the processor say when it was being overclocked? Stop it! It hertz so much.

31. What does Steve Jobs like to order from McDonald’s? A big Mac.
32. Why did the computer cross the road? To get a byte to eat
33. Who chases computer criminals? A hacker-tracker
34. What do you get if you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of Memory.
35. What do you get when you cross a dog and a computer? A machine that has a bark worse than its byte.

36. Why did the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse.
37. Where do computers keep their money? In a data bank.
38. What do you call it when a computer does something daily? A da-ta day routine.
39. How do you make a Holy Computer? You upgrade the hell out of it.
40. What does a shark and a computer have in common? They both have megabites.

Computer one liners

Here are some great computer joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about computers.

41. I love the smell of my F5 key. It’s very refreshing
42. Don’t use “beef stew” as a computer password. It’s not stroganoff.
43. My dog ate my computer science homework. It took him a couple of bytes.
44. My boss calls me “The computer”. Not because of my calculation skills but because I go to sleep when left unattended for 15 minutes.
45. My Internet stopped working for 5 minutes. Met my parents. They’re nice people.

46. If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?
47. Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you’re also the murderer.
48. A pigeon and a tropical bird were playing on the computer. The pigeon lost. Toucan play that game.
49. Set your WIFI password to 2444666668888888. When someone asks for it, tell them it’s 12345678.
50. I changed my password to “incorrect”. So, whenever I forget what it is the computer will say “Your password is incorrect”.

Best computer jokes

These next funny computer puns are some of our best jokes and puns about computers!

51. Why do computers wear glasses? To improve their web-sight.
52. How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots.
53. What do you call a computer mouse that swears a lot? A cursor.
54. Why was the computer so angry? Because it had a chip on its shoulder.
55. Why can’t an IT guy keep a girlfriend? He turns them all off and on again.

56. What do you call a computer superhero? A Screen Saver
57. Why did the computer sneeze? It had a virus.
58. Where do computers go to dance? The disk-O.
59. What is similar to windows but can instantly detect the cause of most common computer-problems? A mirror.
60. What chemical is released in your brain when you see something funny on the computer? Dopameme.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about computers, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

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