35 Funny Neck Jokes

Here are 35 funny neck jokes and the best neck puns to crack you up. These jokes about necks are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of neck dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about necks, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this neck humor with others.

Jump to:

• Neck puns
• Neck one liners
• Best neck jokes
• Final thoughts

Neck puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about necks that are also awesome neck jokes for adults and kids to be told!

1. Who won best neckwear of the year? It was a tie.
2. Why is Dracula so annoying? He’s always breathing down your neck.
3. Why does Isabelle hang on the neck of a cow? Because she Isabelle.
4. What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar? Finger prince.
5. Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck? I can’t tell you, it’s too long.

6. Why do giraffes have long necks? To reach their heads.
7. What’s made of wool and is 40 foot long? A giraffe’s scarf.
8. What do people love most about horses? Their necks. That’s the mane thing.
9. What’s the difference between a Lich and a Vampire? One’s a Necromancer. The other, a Neck-Romancer.
10. Why can’t butterflies turn their heads? They don’t have neck-tar.

11. Why did the clown have a sore neck? He slept funny.
12. Who is a Vampires favorite actress? Neck-hole Kidman.
13. Did you hear about the giraffe race? It was neck and neck.
14. Why do people not like vampires? They are a pain in the neck.
15. I have a neck and I wear a cap but I have no head. What am I? A bottle.

Neck one liners

Here are some great neck joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about necks.

16. Looking back…My neck hurts.
17. Every morning clowns wake up with sore necks. It’s because they sleep funny.
18. You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck.”
19. My procedure saved my life, and my neck is permanently locked. I will never look back. 
20. There is no chance of someone waking up with a sore neck if the coffin has a soft pillow.

21. Person with a double neck is A multi-layered person.
22. Turtles are real scaredy cats. They hardly ever stick their necks out.
23. A giraffe must have a long neck. Look how far their body is from their head.
24. A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar. I replied, “Is that a fret?”
25. Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.

Best neck jokes

These next funny neck puns are some of our best jokes and puns about necks!

26. My pet owl will soon turn 180. He’s not old, he just has a bad neck.
27. Why did the cow wear a bell around its neck? Because her horns didn’t work.
28. What do you call a good looking neck doctor? A real head-turner.
29. What do you call a giraffe with a jet stuck in it’s throat? A plane in the neck.
30. Why did the chiropractor say smartphones cause bad posture? Because tech-neck-ally its correct.

31. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
32. Which doctor should you never go to about neck trouble? Dr. Acula.
33. What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.
34. Why do giraffes have long necks? Because their feet smell.
35. What do you call a doctor who specializes in Adam’s apples? A guyneckologist

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about necks, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny anatomy puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

• Toe jokes
• Eyebrow puns
• Jokes about mouths
• Finger jokes for kids