45 Funny Snail Jokes
I took my time putting this list of snail jokes together. It has taken years even, a real snails pace! I have found all the best human made snail puns I could find and added a few of my own here as well. Find your favorites and if you have your own one to share with me, put it in the comments. If it makes me laugh, I’ll add it to the list (It just might take me a while :p)…
Snail puns
- When do you know a snail is lying? When she tells you she’s not at home.
- Why are snail races so short? Because they can only move one foot.
- What relationship advice did the snail give to it’s friend? Take it slow.
- What kind of helmet does a snail wear? A shell-met.
- I’m currently studying snails and slugs. It’s safe to say I’m a slow learner.
- What would a snail want with a smartphone? It takes a lot of shellfies.
- What did the snail say when his friend lost his car? Where did Es-car-go.
- Are slugs just snails that have gone through a divorce? Yes, she got the house.
- What did the snail say when it was riding on the back of a turtle? Wheeeeee.
- What sound does a snail make? Crunch.
- What do you call a snail in a shotgun shell? A slug.
- How do snails breathe under water? Snailkels.
- What did the snail say as she slipped down the wall? How slime flies.
- Why did the snail get rid of his shell? He was sick of hearing the sea wherever he went.
- What do snails do on their birthday? They shellabrate.
- What is the slowest ship? A snail boat.
- What did the snail’s parents call him when he dropped out of school? A snailure.
- What do you do when you see 2 snails fighting? Let them slug it out.
- Why are snails the strongest animal in the world? Because they carry their whole house on their back.
- Why doesn’t McDonald’s sell snails? Because they are not fast food.
- Why was the snail so fun? He loved having a good slime.
- Where can you find giant snails? At the end of a giants fingers.
- Two snails were playing chess but neither could win. It was a snailmate.
- Why did the shy snail drink? To come out of his shell.
- What do you call it when you have two snails getting towed behind a boat with parachute on? Pair-a-snailing.
- What do you call a snail in the Navy? A snailor.
- How do snails keep in touch? They use shell phones.
- What did the slug say to the snail? I don’t suppose you’re selling your house?
- Why was the snail so shy? She was a real homebody.
- What did a snail say to another snail when he wanted to leave the party? We should slowly get going.
- How does a snail answer the phone? Shello?
- What do you call it when you throw sodium chloride at a snail? An a-salt.
- What did the snail tell the slug? I love Michelle.
- How do slugs send post? By snail mail.
- What’s a snail’s favorite fruit? Lemons and slimes.
Best snail jokes
- What’s the difference between a snail’s eye and a slug’s eye? Nothing. They are eye-tentacle.
- My pet snail lost his shell. He’s looking a bit sluggish.
- Why did the snail cross the road? It is not clear yet, let it cross the road first.
- What did the sloth say when he was mugged by a bunch of snails? It all happened so fast.
- What was the snail doing on the motorway? About a mile a week.
- Why are snail shells so shiny? Because they use snail varnish.
- Did you hear about the snail who robbed a clock shop? She took a lot of time.
- What did the sea snail say to the other sea snail when he got caught in seaweed? Sea-kelp! Sea-kelp!
- Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail? It’s pretty much a downward spiral.
- What is a snail’s preferred political and economic system? Soshellism.
If you want to hear more funny animal jokes like these snail puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:
