30 Funny Beef Puns

Here are 30 funny beef jokes and puns to crack you up. I’m always looking to beef up the joke list even more! So, if you have one to share, drop it in the comments!

Cartoon graphic of cow with word beef on it on blue background.

Beef puns

Here is our top list of beef jokes! And if you like a joke here, feel free to spread it through the grape-bovine!

What’s a cow’s favorite musical note? Beef-flat
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What does the ghost like on its roast beef? Grave-y.
What happened to the lost beef shipment? Nobody’s herd.
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? Lean beef.

What is a beef eater’s favorite song lyric? My grill, talking ’bout my grill, my grill.
What is the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everyone can roast beef but nobody can pea soup!
What’s the typographer’s favourite sandwich filling? Kerned beef
Which cooked beef steak can see into your future? A medium
Why is ground beef so popular? Because the flying cows are really hard to catch.

Cartoon graphic of T-bone steak on blue background.

What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
What did the beef jerky say to the pork jerky? Nice to meat you.
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast? Here’s the beef of the week.
What do you call a cow in the snow? Chilli Beef.

Beef one liners

Here are some great beef joke one-liners to tickle your funny t-bone!

Don’t use “beef stew” as a computer password. Its not stroganoff.
Did you hear about the burger that couldn’t stop making jokes? It was on a roll.
My doctor insists that I should reduce my ground beef consumption. So be it, sea cows it is then.
I forgot to ship out my brother’s homemade beef jerky and accidentally ate it instead. It was an honest missed steak.
A fast food employee dropped my burger patty on the floor before serving it to me. They said it was ground beef.

Cartoon graphic of beef ribs on blue background.

Best beef jokes

These next funny beef puns are some of our favorite about beef!

What did the chef say when he cooked up moose meat instead of beef? Oh no! I’ve made a huge MooseSteak.
Why did the top bun and bottom bun of the Big Mac get in a fight? There was bad beef between them.
My brother has a beef eating disorder and I’m worried. His life is at steak.
What do rappers and vegans have in common? Fake beef.
What did the angry cow say to it’s enemy? We have beef.

Why don’t chicken and sheep get along? Because they have beef between them
A cow was standing in a cornfield. A chicken walked by and said “what do I see here? Corn beef
What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents? Grounded beef.
What was Beethoven called when he only ate beef? Beefthoven.
What do you call a sleeping cow? A bulldozer.