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25 Funny Knitting Puns

ByChe Lewis Updated on

Here’s my collection of knitting jokes that I have been refining over the years. These knitting puns are hand-picked or home-grown by me (a real human being) and I can be a bit knit-picky about which jokes make this list. Pour a cuppa, snag a keeper, and if you’ve got a good one, send it my way.

Cartoon graphic of a woman in a seat knitting on blue background.

Knitting puns

  1. How does a knitter travel? By cable car.
  2. How did the knitter catch the yarn thief? They followed the pattern.
  3. What did they call the mobster who was a really good knitter? Scarf-ace.
  4. Why are Christmas Trees like bad knitters? They keep losing their needle.
  5. What did the knitting pirate buy with his treasure? YAAAARN.
  1. Why wouldn’t the knitter watch the new TV show? It wasn’t on cable.
  2. Who’s a knitter’s favorite band? Slipknot.
  3. What does a knitter get from sitting too long? H-embroids.
  4. What did 50 Cent say to his grandma when he saw her knitting? “Gee U Knit.
  5. What do you call a knitting snake? A nanaconda.
Cartoon graphic of a man in a seat knitting on blue background.

Knitting one liners

  1. Don’t ever get influenced by salespeople that knit. They can really spin a yarn.
  2. It’s easy to thread down the wrong path when you get carried away whilst knitting.
  3. I just watched the World Heavy Metal Knitting Championship in Finland. It was pretty knots.
  1. A day without knitting in pointless.
  2. I always have a ball knitting.
  3. Everything seams better when I’m knitting.
  4. To get good at knitting, you really need to understand the knitty-gritty part of the process.
  5. I got pulled over while driving because I was weaving too much. I told the cop it’s my first time knitting, so I’m pretty slow at it.
Cartoon graphic of a sheep standing and wearing a knitted scarf and beanie on blue background.

Best knitting jokes

  1. I’m having a lot of difficulty with knitting. Oops, wrong thread.
  2. Make sure you don’t leave a knitting story in the middle. Otherwise, it will unravel.
  3. I missed my last two knitting club meetings. I hope when I return, I’m not out of the loop.
  1. A woman had to get her knitting needles fixed. They just didn’t seam right.
  2. If you accidentally drop your wool while knitting don’t worry. Knit happens.
  3. My brother couldn’t decide what sweater he wanted to buy. I felt that he was being too knit-picky.
  4. I can’t seem to think of any puns related to knitting. I think I have finished all of my material.
Cartoon graphic of a man knitting on blue background.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

Hi! I'm Che, and I hope you enjoy these jokes as much as me. These jokes lists are curated by me alone. I handpick the jokes for quality, create some myself or add ones that have been contributed by readers like you.

I constantly update Here's A Joke posts to ensure top quality. Not feeling a joke or got one to share? Let me know in the comments or contact me. With your support, I'm aiming for the best joke site around.

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