28 Jokes About Grapes

Grapes are one of my fav fruits for sure, I even have some grape vines in our front yard that do ok in summer. They are also one of the funniest fruits to eat I think because you can throw them up in the air and catch them in your mouth. I also throw them into my kids mouths from across the room (3 second rule..). Here I have a bunch of grape jokes I have created and curated for you to tell to your friends and family.

Grape puns

1. How do grapes complain? They just vine.
2. What would a grape say if you step on it? It won’t say anything, it will just let out a little wine.
3. Who was purple and wanted to rule the world? Alexander the Grape.
4. How does a wine drinker hear about the next best brand? Through the grapevine.

6. Why wouldn’t Mrs Grape leave her children behind? Because she loves raisin kids.
7. What did the fruit say to the vegetable? Lettuce be grape friends.
8. What happened when the grape was promoted? It got a raisin pay.

16. What did the grape say to the peanut? You’re nuts.
17. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because she ran out of juice.
18. People ask why I hate grapes? I have my raisins.
19. What is purple and swings from a tree? A gr-ape.

11. Where would the raisins keep their money? In the currant account.
12. What happens when sour grapes get angry? They try raisin hell.
13. What kind of decisions do grapes make? Fruitful ones.

31. What would a superhero who doesn’t wear a cape and dislikes fruit say? Not all heroes wear grapes.
32. A grape wanted to go out in the sun. The others in the bunch said, You are being unraisinable.
33. Why was the grape late to work? He had to make a pit stop.
34. Did you hear about the grape that betrayed his country? He committed traisin.
35. What fruits do the batteries like the most? The currants.

Best grape jokes

36. What do you call a purple gorilla? A grape ape.
37. What is it called when you get a really bad wine hangover? The grape depression.
38. Why did the grape cross the road? No raisin.
39. What would the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe.

41. How do you measure the length of grapevines? You do it in vineyards.
42. Why couldn’t the grape help his friend move on Sunday? Because he was in a jam.
43. Why did the grape get disqualified from the limbo championship? He kept raisin the bar.
44. What would the news show about berries be called? The currant affairs show.
45. What did the grape say to others in the bunch?  It’s grape hanging out with you guys.

If you want to hear more food puns and funny fruit jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

• Jokes about Berry
• Apples puns
• Banana jokes
• Orange jokes for kids