34 Funny December Jokes
December is here and that means it’s the season that you can tell lame as dad jokes and get away with it more than any other time of year. I have collected these December puns over the years and curated them into this list. Grab a few, slip them into Christmas party small talk, and claim the laughs as your own! All the December jokes here are hand-picked (and occasionally home-grown) by me!
December puns
- Which month is the best for sleepovers? Deslumber.
- What is Darth Vader’s favorite month? December. He’s felt your presents.
- What does a mountain biker ride in December? An icicle.
- What do you call a ghost in December? Casp-brrr.
- Why should you buy Christmas presents in early December? It’s advent-ageous.
- Which athlete is warmest in December? A long jumper.
- What happens when December arrives? Autumn leaves.
- What do you have in December that you can’t have in any other month? The letter D.
- What did the haunted spice cabinet say when December arrived? “Season’s greetings.”
- Why is December the best month to refill your spice rack? It’s the most wonderful thyme of the year.
- What happens to people who crack bad Christmas jokes? Decembered.
- What do cows do on December 31st? Celebrate Moo Years Eve.
- Why did the jazz musician play his trumpet outside during December? Because he liked cool music.
- Why is December the worst time of the year for some people? If they are Claus-trophobic.
- How many seconds are there in one year? 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, and December 2nd.
- Any military battle fought on December 25th is a war on Christmas.
- The doctor has given me two months to live. I’ve chosen August and December, because I like summer but don’t want to miss Christmas.
- December is like the ‘Friday’ of the months.
- I’m devastated that I won’t be able to celebrate my birthday this March. I was born in December.
- Don’t June know it’s October? Sometimes I think you can’t December.
- I wasn’t going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I’m going home for the hollandaise.
- My crush and I are getting married. I am getting married on 23rd August and she is on 25th December.
- On the 31st December around 11:59 pm. Do not go outside your house otherwise, chances are, you will not come back until next year.
- Just checked that the carton of milk in my fridge expired December 31. Unlike me, it had a date on New Year’s Eve.
Best December jokes
- Why is the turkey never hungry in December? It’s stuffed.
- What do truckers celebrate in December? The haul-idays.
- What can you catch in December with your eyes closed? A cold.
- Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy in December? To help their elf esteem.
- Did you hear about the boss who didn’t give his employee a single weekend off this December? He’s a sleigh driver.
- What do chickens celebrate in December? Eggs-mas.
- Did you hear the serious story about December? It’s snow joke.
- What dessert does the Grinch eat in December? Heist cream.
- Which animal do you want to be in December? A little otter.
- What happens after December 25? Santa Close.
If you want to hear more funny seasonal jokes, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:
