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50 Funny Mustache Jokes

ByChe Lewis

Here are 50 funny mustache jokes and the best mustache puns to crack you up. These jokes about mustaches are great jokes for kids and adults alike.

Here is our top list of mustache dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about mustaches, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this mustache humor with others.

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Cartoon graphic of a chef holding his mustache on blue background.

Mustache puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about mustaches that are also awesome mustaches jokes for adults and kids to be told!

  1. Why did the mustache go to the bank? For a shavings account.
  2. What would you call a mustache growing on someone’s cheek? A miss-tache.
  3. What made me want to have a mustache? Well, the idea started growing on me.
  4. Why did the man shave his mustache before participating in a dangerous stunt? He said better shave than sorry.
  5. Why is the man with the mustache not friends with his colleagues anymore? They took his promotion right from under his nose.
  1. What kind of mustache does a bicycle grow? A handlebar mustache.
  2. How did the mustache plan for supporting its family after it passed away? With a shavings account.
  3. What’s the best way of choosing which mustache style to grow? Eeny Meeny Miney Mo.
  4. How is a moustache similar to wine and cheese? They all tend to get better with time.
  5. What did the man reply when he was asked, “I mustache you a question”? He said, “can you shave it for later if it’s not hairy important?”
  1. Why did the husband cut most of the grass but only leave a strip at the top? Because his wife asked him to Mo-w the lawn.
  2. What did the man with the beard and mustache say when things got a bit heated between two guys? Relax, I’ve got a handlebar on the situation.
  3. What would do you call James Bond with no beard? Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
  4. What did the bearded man say to his professor when he was running late? I mustache you a question but I’m running late.
  5. What did the Disney prince reply when the barber asked about trimming his mustache? Let it grow, let it grow, won’t hold it back anymore.
  1. What did the teenage guy say when he was eagerly waiting for his mustache and beard to grow? I wish you were hair.
  2. What did the mustache ask his elder brother? What’s growing on?
  3. Why are the careers of celebrity mustaches so short lived? They are hair today, gone tomorrow.
  4. What did the mustache father ask his son? I hope you are be-shaving yourself.
  5. What did the pirate with a beard ask one of the new cruise captains? Where did Mo-stash all the treasure?
Cartoon graphic of a mans face with a mustache on blue background.

Mustache one liners

Here are some great mustache joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about mustaches.

  1. I mustache you a question, what looks better, a beard or a ‘stache?
  2. Mustache mania, a great idea is growing right under your nose.
  3. The neighbor said to the bearded man, “I think I mustache you a question while eyebrows the wifi?. To this, the guy replied, “Yeah, sure, go ahead, mullet over.”
  4. I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.
  5. Kindly shave the date. It’s Movember 1st.
  1. Hey, I moustache a question! Can eyebrows your computer for the answer?
  2. I offered my coworker a sincere compliment on their moustache the other day. But guess what happened? She filed a complaint with human resources.
  3. When I was younger, I never really liked the idea of having a moustache. But then, it started to grow on me.
  4. Well, I spent years looking for the perfect mustache. But then, I realized the truth. It was under my nose the whole time.
  5. Is that a moustache, or did your eyebrows come down for a drink?
  1. My dad always used to say “Some men have a midlife crisis and end up buying a small car to feel better. But real men grow moustaches and get over it.”
  2. I had no idea that my wife had placed a fake moustache on the squash. When I went to pick it up, it really caught me off gourd.
  3. I mustache you to back off.
  4. Hey, I saw you checking out my facial hair. We moustache out of here and get to know each other better.
  5. I had a friend who always wore a mask, so he grew a moustache without anyone noticing it. I guess you could say that he had a secret stache.
  1. The Forehead Moustache, when one moustache is not enough.
  2. The Movember mustache never skips anyone. It grows on continuously.
  3. Been ‘staching away my Movember motivation.
  4. I have a great mustache pun, but I forgot it. Guess its shaved for later.
  5. Real men grow mustaches while boys simply wish that they could and spend the rest of their lives jealous.
Cartoon graphic of a man with a mustache with hands in the air on blue background.

Best mustache jokes

These next funny mustache puns are some of our best jokes and puns about mustaches!

  1. Where are all the old mustaches stored? In a mo-seum.
  2. Which snack has a great mustache? A pi-stach-io.
  3. What comes after Movember? Decem-beard.
  4. How did the mustache end up homeless? He lost his job and had no shavings.
  5. Why did the bearded thief shave before robbing a bank? Because he wanted to be a smooth criminal.
  1. Why is a mustache well-ventilated? Because it’s very h-airy.
  2. What do you call a cow‘s mustache? A moostache.
  3. What did the pirate say to the barber? Arrgh, shav-er me timbers.
  4. What is a cow’s favorite type of facial hair? A moo-stache.
  5. How do you say ‘happy birthday’ to a man with a mustache? Have a fan-tache-stick birthday.
Cartoon graphic of a man with a tie and a mustache on blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about mustaches, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny anatomy jokes then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

Hi! I'm Che, and I hope you enjoy these jokes as much as me. These jokes lists are curated by me alone. I handpick the jokes for quality, create some myself or add ones that have been contributed by readers like you.

I constantly update Here's A Joke posts to ensure top quality. Not feeling a joke or got one to share? Let me know in the comments or contact me. With your support, I'm aiming for the best joke site around.

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