35 Funny December Jokes
Here are 35 funny December jokes and the best December puns to crack you up. These jokes about December are great jokes for kids and adults.
December puns
Here is our top list of December dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about December, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this December humor with others.
- Which month is the best for sleepovers? Deslumber.
- What is Darth Vader’s favorite month? December. He’s felt your presents.
- What does a mountain biker ride in December? An icicle.
- What do you call a ghost in December? Casp-brrr.
- Why should you buy Christmas presents in early December? It’s advent-ageous.
- Which athlete is warmest in December? A long jumper.
- What happens when December arrives? Autumn leaves.
- What do you have in December that you can’t have in any other month? The letter D.
- What did the haunted spice cabinet say when December arrived? “Season’s greetings.”
- Why is December the best month to refill your spice rack? It’s the most wonderful thyme of the year.
- What happens to people who crack bad Christmas jokes? Decembered.
- What do cows do on December 31st? Celebrate Moo Years Eve.
- Why did the jazz musician play his trumpet outside during December? Because he liked cool music.
- Why is December the worst time of the year for some people? If they are Claus-trophobic.
- How many seconds are there in one year? 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, and December 2nd.
December one liners
Here are some great December joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about December.
- December is like the ‘Friday’ of the months.
- Any military battle fought on December 25th is a war on Christmas.
- October is Octover. November is Nowvember. December is Desoonber.
- The doctor has given me two months to live. I’ve chosen August and December, because I like summer but don’t want to miss Christmas.
- I’m devastated that I won’t be able to celebrate my birthday this March. I was born in December.
- Don’t June know it’s October? Sometimes I think you can’t December.
- I wasn’t going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I’m going home for the hollandaise.
- My crush and I are getting married. I am getting married on 23rd August and she is on 25th December.
- On the 31st December around 11:59 pm. Do not go outside your house otherwise, chances are, you will not come back until next year.
- Just checked that the carton of milk in my fridge expired December 31. Unlike me, it had a date on New Year’s Eve.
Best December jokes
These next funny December puns are some of our best jokes and puns about December!
- What do chickens celebrate in December? Eggs-mas.
- Did you hear the serious story about December? It’s snow joke.
- What dessert does the Grinch eat in December? Heist cream.
- Which animal do you want to be in December? A little otter.
- What happens after December 25? Santa Close.
- Why is the turkey never hungry in December? It’s stuffed.
- What do truckers celebrate in December? The haul-idays.
- What can you catch in December with your eyes closed? A cold.
- Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy in December? To help their elf esteem.
- Did you hear about the boss who didn’t give his employee a single weekend off this December? He’s a sleigh driver.
Final thoughts
After reading through all these hilarious jokes about December, we hope you had a good laugh.
If you want to hear more funny seasonal jokes, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:
