45 Funny Square Jokes

Here are 45 funny square jokes and the best square puns to crack you up. These jokes about squares are great jokes for kids and adults.

Square puns

Here is our top list of square dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about squares, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this square humor with others.

Why didn’t 4 ask out 5? He was two squared.
What do you call a square missing a side? An incomplete meal.
Why didn’t King Arthur use the square table? Because that table wasn’t a-round.
Why do boats have round windows? So that water doesn’t hit you square in the face.
How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.

What’s red and square? An uncool tomato.
What do you call a pale, introvert nerd? Fair and square.
Why are squares fantastic lawyers? They are always right.
How did the circle know the square had nothing on him? Because he said he had him cornered.
What did the professor say when his student asked if pyramids were essentially squares? Yes, but only up to a point.

Why do plants hate math? Because it gives them square roots.
Why do people walk in circles and not in squares? Because they are cutting corners.
What did the circle say when the square kept asking him a question? Wait a secant.
Did you hear that farmers are getting rid of circular hay bales? Yeah, horses are sad that they’re not getting a square meal.
Do you know why I hate hexagons more than squares? Because hexagons are more edgy.

What did 11 say to 4, 9, and 25? You’re all a bunch of squares.
Why are circles round? They’re too cool to be square.
Why are City Morgues always square? It’s because of all of the coroners.
Why is the circle more trustworthy than the square? Because he doesn’t have an angle.
Are we really expected to eat three square meals a day? I’m sure triangles and circles provide equal nutritional value.

Here are some great square joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about squares.

Squares are cool, but circles have pi.
Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.
My biggest problem with having three square meals a day is that all my plates are round.
I had all these small cheese squares but nothing to put them on. I was really cracka lackin’.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be called The Bermuda Square until one side mysteriously vanished.

I always find square rooms are very hot. All the corners are 90 degrees.
The reason square photographs look so good is that they know all the right angles.
I never trust octagons. They’re always lazy, just squares that cut all the corners.
Some shapes got involved in an accident. The circle got up and looked round, the triangle suffered acute injuries and the square was alright.
I designed square tires for my car and tried to push it down a hill. It didn’t go down well.

I used to work at a square tire factory. It was a real bumpy ride.
I left a plant in my school’s maths class room, but it grew square roots.
There was a circle turning into a square. It was going through Cuberty.
Whoever designed the lions in Trafalgar Square really put the cat among the pigeons.
The great thing about my obsession with toast is that I still get three square meals a day.

These next funny square puns are some of our best jokes and puns about squares!

Where do the best mathematicians live? Times Square.
Why do they say, be there or be square? Because you’re not around.
What animal is shaped like a square? A squarrel.
Why do restaurants put a pizza in square boxes? Because they don’t cut corners.
I just woke up with black and white squares all over my face. I’ll have to get this checked.