30 Funny Pencil Jokes

Here are 30 funny pencil jokes and the best pencil puns to crack you up. These jokes about pencils are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of pencil dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about pencils, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this pencil humor with others.

Jump to:

• Pencil puns
• Pencil one liners
• Best pencil jokes
• Final thoughts

Pencil puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about pencils that are also awesome pencil jokes for adults and kids to be told!

1. Who’s the king of the pencil case? The ruler.
2. What did the paper say to the pencil? Write on.
3. Where do pencils go on vacation? Pencil-vania
4. Why did the pencil stink? Because it was a No. 2
5. Which colored pencil is the sharpest? Red, because it can draw blood.

6. How does a pencil hire their workers? She appoints them
7. Why do influencers always carry a pencil? To draw attention.
8. What happened when the pig pen broke? They had to use the pig pencil.
9. Why did the eraser on the end of the pencil feel like giving up? It couldn’t see the point.
10. What do you call a pencil you’ve just thrown out the window? I don’t know. But it’s certainly not stationary.

Pencil one liners

Here are some great pencil joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about pencils.

11. I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil. But there’s no point.
12. Someone stole all the pencils at the police station. Detectives have no leads.
13. I refuse to use a pencil and a ruler on anything but paper. That’s where I draw the line.
14. I was rejected from my dream art school because I used the wrong pencil. It wasn’t 2B.
15. I own a pencil used by William Shakespeare. He used to chew on it a lot though, so I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.

16. The best wood in most golfer’s bags is the pencil.
17. You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
18. I have a hard time trusting people that use pencils to draw. They’re sketchy.
19. A pencil and a scissors are having a debate. Every time the pencil make a good point, the scissors get a little snippy.
20. I threw a pencil to my mate but it accidentally stabbed him in the face. I thought he would be made, but he turned a blind eye.

Best pencil jokes

These next funny pencil puns are some of our best jokes and puns about pencils!

21. Why do pencils shave? To look sharp.
22. How do pencils exercise? With a stationary bike.
23. Why aren’t there more pencil fights? They usually lead to a draw.
24. Why did the basketball player bring pencils to the NBA game? He wanted to draw fouls.
25. What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil? Stop going in circles and get to the point.

26. People who draw with pencils are hard for me to trust. They are shady.
27. What did the math book tell the pencil? I have a lot of problems.
28. My pencil broke as I tried to draw a rectangle. Now it’s a wrecked angle.
29. “Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?” “Use a pencil until I come to see him.”
30. I rang to schedule an appointment with the person who does my eyebrows. She said she could pencil me in.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about pencils, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

• Mario jokes
• Magnet puns
• Jokes about hammers
• Lock jokes for kids