25 Funny Ostrich Jokes
Here are 25 funny ostrich jokes and the best ostrich puns to crack you up. These jokes about ostriches are great jokes for kids and adults.
Ostrich puns
Here is our top list of ostrich dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about ostriches, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this ostrich humor with others.
- How do ostriches pay? With their bills.
- Why is an ostrich wealthy? Because if wasn’t it would be an ostpoor.
- How does an ostrich get strong? Egg-cersize.
- What did the man robbing the zoo say to the police? Don’t come any closer, I’ve got ostriches.
- Did you hear about that large flightless bird that was excluded from societal norms? Apparently it was ostrich sized.
- Why did the ostrich go to the beach? To stick his head in the sand.
- What do you call an ostrich going trough their emo stage? An emu.
- What do you give a sick ostrich? Tweetment.
- Which side of an ostrich has the most feathers? The outside.
- Why did the judge set the bail so low for the ostrich charged with assault? He wasn’t a flight risk.
Ostrich one liners
Here are some great ostrich joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about ostriches.
- Best way to avoid getting bird flue in getting emu-nized.
- I decided to keep an ostrich as a pet, but after a few weeks I felt I was being ostracized and thought to give him to another home.
- I posted a joke about an ostrich with a broken leg 2 years ago and so many people have reposted it since then that it’s still running.
- He said I could take the ostriches but not the ducks, because he never gave a flying flock.
- I put a ” No Flyers” sign on my front door. The next day I was sent Two Emus and an Ostrich.
Best ostrich jokes
These next funny ostrich puns are some of our best jokes and puns about ostriches!
- Why was the big bird sitting all alone? He was ostrich sized.
- What do you call an ostrich that practices dark magic? An ost-witch.
- Did you hear about the Giraffe and Ostrich race? It was neck and neck.
- What do you get when a condor, an ostrich, and an eagle walk into a bar? Three golfers lying about their game.
- What would you say if a great big bird with a long neck strapped you into a chair and put a gun to your head? I was held ostrich.
- Where do Ostriches come from? Austria.
- What do you get when you cross an ostrich with a female dog? An osbitch.
- Did you know that the fastest animal on land is the ostrich? Actually, it’s not but the fastest one is a cheetah.
- Ostrich meat would be a market I could get into to make some good money. But it probably wouldn’t take off.
- I was going to blame my pet ostrich for a crime I committed. But my lawyer advised that it wouldn’t fly in court.
Final thoughts
After reading through all these hilarious jokes about ostriches, we hope you had a good laugh.
If you want to hear more funny animal puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:
