20 Jokes About Garlic

Here are 20 funny garlic jokes and the best garlic puns to crack you up. These jokes about garlic are great jokes for kids and adults.

Here is our top list of garlic dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about garlic, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this garlic humor with others.

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Garlic puns

Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about garlic that are also awesome garlic jokes for adults and kids to be told!

What did the garlic say to the vampire? You want a pizza of me?
What do you call an all-you-can-eat garlic restaurant? Buffet the Vampire Slayer.
Why did the blonde throw tic-tacs in her spaghetti? The recipe told her to mints her garlic.
Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don’t lose much weight, but from a distance, your friends think you look thinner.
What does eating raw garlic have to do with preventing COVID-19? It helps keep everyone at a safe distance.

Here are some great garlic joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about garlic.

Rest in peace, garlic. You will be minced.
The recipe said to crush the garlic. So I told it, “You’ll never amount to anything.”
I went to the local Indian restaurant because my kids wanted garlic bread. They had naan.
I love to smother my burger with lots of chunky tomato, onion and garlic condiment. I really relish it.
I’m having mixed feelings about that garlic diet. So far, I’ve lost 10 pounds and most of my friends.

These next funny garlic puns are some of our best jokes and puns about garlic!

What does garlic do when it gets hot? It takes its cloves off.
What kind of socks do you need to plant garlic? Garden hose.
How do you make garlic toast? Lift your glass and talk about the wonderful things it has done.
Did you hear the one about the dog who ate a bunch of garlic? His bark was worse than his bite.
How many vampires showed up to the garlic eating competition? I don’t know, it was countless.