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30 Funny Colonoscopy Jokes

ByChe Lewis

Here are 30 funny colonoscopy jokes and the best colonoscopy puns to crack you up. These jokes about colonoscopies are great jokes for kids and adults.

Cartoon graphic of a magnifying glass over a colonoscopy on a blue background.

Colonoscopy puns

Here is our top list of colonoscopy dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about colonoscopies, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this colonoscopy humor with others.

  1. What should the real name for a colonoscopy be? A colonoscopoo.
  2. What happens when you forget to pay my colonoscopy bill? Now you’re in arrears.
  3. What alarming thing did the doctor find during his patient’s colonoscopy exam? An alarm clock.
  4. Why was the colonoscopy camera so worn out? Because it had been through a lot of crap.
  5. What happens when someone gives a really deep speech to convince you to go for a colonoscopy? Something touches you deep inside.
  1. What is the proper toast for someone drinking colonoscopy prep? Bottoms up.
  2. What do you call a colonoscopy on a donkey? An assassin.
  3. What kind of camera do doctors use for colonoscopies? GoProbes.
  4. Why is a colonoscopy camera not state of the art? Because the pictures look like crap.
  5. Why did Brian keep putting off scheduling his colonoscopy? He knew that he was going to get it in the end.
Cartoon graphic of a sad face colonoscopy on a blue background.

Colonoscopy one liners

Here are some great colonoscopy joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about having a colonoscopy.

  1. I just got my colonoscopy results. The doctor gave me two thumbs up.
  2. My colonoscopy wasn’t the best experience of my life, but it was up there.
  3. My doctor says I have to go for a colonoscopy next week. It’s a real bummer.
  4. I only lost 2 pounds while taking laxatives for a colonoscopy. I guess I’m not as full of crap as I thought.
  5. My mother was supposed to have a colonoscopy today, but she told me it was canceled because of COVID. I told her not to worry, she’ll still get it in the end.
  1. Let’s hope your doctor has a rebuttal ready for your colonoscopy joke.
  2. I have inner beauty and the colonoscopy video to prove it.
  3. A colonoscopy is nothing to fear, it’s just a little crappy for a few days after.
  4. I got one of those at-home colonoscopy tests. The results were really hard to swallow.
  5. I’m nervous about my colonoscopy, but at least soon I’ll be able to put this all behind me.
Cartoon graphic of a doctor doing a colonoscopy on a patient lying in a bed on a blue background.

Best colonoscopy jokes

These next funny colonoscopy puns are some of our best jokes and puns about colonoscopies!

  1. What do you think a colonoscopy costs? A buttload.
  2. What does a doctor call a colonoscopy? An anal-ysis.
  3. What did the dog say to the man after his colonoscopy? Rough.
  4. Have you heard of the golfer who opened a colonoscopy clinic? He does 18 holes a day.
  5. Why should you read poop jokes before having a colonoscopy? They are not the best kind of jokes, but they are a solid number two.
  1. How is the patient after the colonoscopy? He’s fine now but at the time it rectum.
  2. What happens when you get your colonoscopy results? The doctor gives you two thumbs up.
  3. I’ve been in the doctor’s office for an hour, waiting to be called back for my colonoscopy. I guess they are really backed up today.
  4. I went in for my colonoscopy, and asked my doctor how his day was going. He said “I’ve been dealing with assholes all day.”
  5. Colonoscopies are important. They really help doctors get to the bottom of your health issues.
Cartoon graphic of two doctors examining a colonoscopy on a blue background.

Final thoughts

After reading through all these hilarious jokes about colonoscopies, we hope you had a good laugh.

If you want to hear more funny puns, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes:

Hi! I'm Che, and I hope you enjoy these jokes as much as me. These jokes lists are curated by me alone. I handpick the jokes for quality, create some myself or add ones that have been contributed by readers like you.

I constantly update Here's A Joke posts to ensure top quality. Not feeling a joke or got one to share? Let me know in the comments or contact me. With your support, I'm aiming for the best joke site around.

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